Family Guy (TV Series)

Stewie Kills Lois (2007)

Alex Borstein: Lois Griffin, Asian Hooker, Sandra Bullock

Photos 

Quotes 

• Ship's Captain : I'm sorry, but I'm afraid I'm going to have to bar you from the aft section of the ship for the rest of the cruise.

  Lois Griffin : Oh, we are so sorry. Peter, what the hell did you think you were doing?

  Peter Griffin : Lois, it is called the "poop deck." That is why I pooped there.

  Ship's Captain : You're disgusting!

  Peter Griffin : And you're misleading.

• Peter Griffin : Boy this is romantic, isn't it, Lois?

  Lois Griffin : It sure is, sweetie. I feel like that fat-ass British girl from Titanic.

  Peter Griffin : What girl?

  Lois Griffin : The *lead* in Titanic. The one opposite Leonardo Di Caprio.

  Peter Griffin : Sweetheart, that was a guy.

  Lois Griffin : What?

  Peter Griffin : That was a guy. That was Philip Seymour Hoffman.

  Lois Griffin : No it wasn't!

  Peter Griffin : Yes it was, honey. It was Philip Seymour Hoffman. Look at you out here on a big trip.

• Lois Griffin : Stewie? What are you doing here?

  Stewie Griffin : [points a gun at Lois]  Oh there is a very simple answer to that. You drove me here, with all indignity you force me to suffer for all these years!

  Lois Griffin : Wha? What are you doing with a gun?

  Stewie Griffin : Something I should have done a very long time ago!

  [Stewie shoots Lois] 

• Lois Griffin : You've totally ruined this trip for me. I am mortified to even show my face around this ship.

  Peter Griffin : Hey the Captain's the one who should be embarrassed, his story was gay.

  Lois Griffin : YOU'RE gay!