30 Rock (TV Series)

The Fighting Irish (2007)

Nathan Lane: Eddie

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Tracy is seeking a religion for publicity] 

  Tracy Jordan : Hey, Jack's brother: What religion are you? This one sounds really expensive and gay.

  Eddie Donaghy : Oh, well, uh, I'm Irish Catholic. Now, I know there's been a lot of controversy around the church lately, ya know, because of The Da Vinci Code, but what's great is you can do anything - anything - and as long as you go to confession, it's forgiven.

  Tracy Jordan : I'm Irish Catholic.

• Liz Lemon : Can I help you?

  Eddie Donaghy : Yeah, sweetheart: I'm looking for Jack Donaghy.

  Liz Lemon : And you are?

  Eddie Donaghy : Eddie Donaghy - Jack's brother.

  Liz Lemon : Really? 'Cause Jack never mentioned a brother, and his name is "Donagee," not "Donahee."

  Eddie Donaghy : [considering her]  You know, you could be pretty if you didn't scowl so much.

  [Liz immediately believes Eddie] 

  Liz Lemon : Tracy, this is Jack's brother, Eddie.

• Eddie Donaghy : I got a real job now: I talk homeless people into joining the army.

  Jack Donaghy : Isn't there anything that you want?

  Eddie Donaghy : One thing: I'd like my brother back. Look, I know I've been nothing but trouble to you your entire life. Juvie, Jonestown, that time I punched Goofy... Hell, I even blinded you with a bottle rocket!

  Jack Donaghy : Ah, that was for a couple of lousy months; big deal. I had sex with your prom date.

  Eddie Donaghy : I stole your identity.

  Jack Donaghy : I threw you out of a window.

  Eddie Donaghy : I convinced you you had lupus.

  Jack Donaghy : I microwaved your parakeet!

  Eddie Donaghy : I hated that bird.

  Jack Donaghy : We had some great times, didn't we?

• Jack Donaghy : When I think of all the things that I've been holding inside me that I wanted to say to you.

  [holds up fists] 

  Jack Donaghy : Well, now I'm gonna let St. Patrick and St. Michael do my talking for me!

  Jack's Dad : You'll have to get through Tip O'Neill and Bobby Sands first!

  Eddie Donaghy : You call those fist names? Say hello to Bono and Sandra Day O'Connor!

  Jack Donaghy : Those are the stupidest fist names I've ever heard.

• Eddie Donaghy : Hey, Jack, you mind if I take a few grapes for dinner later?

  Jack Donaghy : Why don't you just take the money?

  Eddie Donaghy : No! If you wanna give money to someone, you give it to those nurses who took care of Dad at Chicago All-Saints Hospital. They never once said anything about the racist stuff, towards the end.

• Eddie Donaghy : Wow! I bet Pop's lookin' down right now and saying, "If I could come back and do any broad, it'd be that one right there."

  Liz Lemon : [chuckles and then speaks seriously]  Ew.

• Katherine Catherine : It's on.

  Eddie Donaghy : I call same sides as the bicentennial brawl!