American Pie Presents: Beta House (2007 Video)

Jake Siegel: Mike 'Cooze' Coozeman

Photos 

Quotes 

• Mr. Stifler : Son?

  Erik Stifler : Yeah?

  Mr. Stifler : I want to show you something. This is the list of all the chicks I ever banged.

  Mike 'Cooze' Coozeman : Are you serious? Is that two-sided? It is. Nice!

  Mr. Stifler : Yeah, it's a good goal for you to try to keep up with your old man.

  Erik Stifler : Hey Dad, why isn't Mom's name the last name on the list?

  Mr. Stifler : There? Uh, we didn't tell you, but when you were three, we had a trial separation for a week.

  Erik Stifler : Trial Separation?

  Erik Stifler : Uh, Dad, there's like... Well, there's ten names here for that week alone.

  Mr. Stifler : Yeah, I went on kind of a poontang bender there.

  Mike 'Cooze' Coozeman : Is that my Mom's name?

  Mr. Stifler : Yeah, you know, on second thought I'll just kind of hang onto that.

  Erik Stifler : [whispering]  You had sex with his Mom?

  Mr. Stifler : Yeah.

  Erik Stifler : [whispering]  How was it?

  Mr. Stifler : Yuck.

• Bobby : You started it!

  Mike 'Cooze' Coozeman : What? I didn't do anything

  Bobby : You charged that stripper with a pen like you were gonna shove it in her ass!

• Bobby : [talking about Stifler]  Whoa! Man! Who is this guy?

  Mike 'Cooze' Coozeman : Dude, he's the reason we came to college here!