- Tricia Takanawa: Sir, how does it feel to have the lake back?
- Jason Voorhees: Well, I'll tell you Tricia as a local resident, I feel like I can once again take pride in my community. I think this is really going to revitalize tourism and
- [stabs two girls to death]
- Jason Voorhees: if you look around, even the wildlife is starting to come back and that's something we haven't seen in a while and I think we're going to be seeing a lot more of that.
- Bee: [With a Southern effeminate accent] Hey, y'all. Y'all best be careful or I'm gonna sting you with my stinger. Oh, no! But if I sting ya I's gonna die! You know what? I'm not gonna sting ya after all. Y'all ain't worth it. I'm just gonna go over there and suck on that stamen like there's no tomorrow.
- Glen Quagmire: ["campaigning" for Lois by seducing female voters] If I tried to masturbate right now, you know what would come out? A little flag with the word BANG on it!
- Mort Goldman: Mayor West, if re-elected, would you increase the frequency of garbage pick up?
- Mayor Adam West: Well, citizen, that's an excellent question and I thank you for it. I think it's great that we live in a town where you can ask questions. Because without questions, we just have answers. And an answer without a question is just a statement.
- Lois Griffin: We have intelligence that suggests that Hitler is plotting with the Legion of Doom to assassinate Jesus ... using the lake as a base.
- Glen Quagmire: [around the campfire] And when he woke up in the morning, she was still in his bed... . aaaaagh!