Monk (TV Series)
Mr. Monk Is on the Air (2007)
Tony Shalhoub: Adrian Monk
Photos
Quotes
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Kevin Dorfman : You only go around once in this life.
Adrian Monk : That's the best news I've heard all day.
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Linda Riggs : I'm sorry to bother you at home. I read about you on the Internet and I looked up your address and... I don't know where else to go.
[sobs]
Adrian Monk : I'm on the Internet?
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Adrian Monk : I think he's the guy.
Natalie Teeger : Me too, at least I hope he is.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Max Hudson, the jerk on the radio?
Adrian Monk : According to her sister, his wife had recently started taking sleeping pills, 30 milligrams.
Natalie Teeger : Which is the maximum dosage.
Adrian Monk : And it was Max's suggestion.
Natalie Teeger : He went to their doctor personally to fill those prescriptions.
Adrian Monk : Here's what happened: Max is out of town, it's a perfect alibi. He knows his wife will be taking those pills, so she's out cold...
[Disher blushes in the background]
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Something funny?
Lt. Randall Disher : S-sorry.
Adrian Monk : He knows his wife won't be waking up, so he has one of his guys-
[Randy blushes again]
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Randy? Do you want to share it with the rest of the class?
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Adrian Monk : What station is he on?
Natalie Teeger : 99.9.
Adrian Monk : Oh, so close.
Natalie Teeger : I just don't see how he could have done it. So when Jeanette died, Max was on the air doing a live show. The night before, he's at a party in Los Angeles. He hasn't been home in two days.
Adrian Monk : I promised her sister I'd look into it. She was using all my Kleenex.
[They notice Linda Riggs at the front door]
Linda Riggs : I don't think he's home.
Adrian Monk : Did you tell him I was coming?
[Notices a welcome mat that says "GO AWAY" on it]
Natalie Teeger : No, Mr. Monk, that's not for you. That's a joke.
Adrian Monk : How is that a joke?
Natalie Teeger : Well, I guess it's funny because it says the opposite of what a welcome mat would normally say.
["WELCOME"]
Adrian Monk : So it's an opposite joke?
Natalie Teeger : Yeah.
Neighbor : [notices them] He's not home! I live right over there. I saw him leave two hours ago.
Natalie Teeger : That's a nice dog.
Adrian Monk : That's a nice cat.
[force laughs]
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Natalie Teeger : I don't like that guy either. He's such a bully. Have you ever heard his show?
Adrian Monk : What station is he on?
Natalie Teeger : 99.9.
Adrian Monk : Ah, so close.
Natalie Teeger : I just don't see how he could have done it. Have you seen this? So when Jeanette died, Max was on the air doing a live show, and the night before he was at a party in Los Angeles. He hasn't been home in two days.
Adrian Monk : I promised her sister I'd look into it. I had to; she was using up all my Kleenex.
[They meet Linda Riggs at the front door]
Linda Riggs : I don't think he's home.
Adrian Monk : Did you tell him I was coming?
[He's looking at the welcome mat, which reads "GO AWAY"]
Natalie Teeger : No, Mr. Monk. That's not for you. It's a joke.
Adrian Monk : Really? How's that funny?
Natalie Teeger : Well, I think it's funny because it's the opposite of what a welcome mat would normally say.
Adrian Monk : S-so it's an opposite joke?
Natalie Teeger : Yeah.
[a neighbor, walking his dog past the driveway, notices them]
Neighbor : He's not home! I live right over there. I saw him leave about two hours ago.
Natalie Teeger : That's a nice dog.
Neighbor : Thank you.
Adrian Monk : That's a nice cat.
[force laughs unconvincingly]