- Dennis Duffy: I'm moving into my new apartment so I've got one last thing to say to you and I'll be out of your life forever.
- [reading from written letter]
- Dennis Duffy: Dear Liz Lemon: While other women have bigger boobs than you, no other woman has as big a heart. When I saw you getting ready to go out and get nailed by a bunch of guys last night, I knew for sure it was over between us, and for the first time since the '86 World Series, I cried... I cried like a big, dumb homo. And if it was up to me, we'd be together forever. But there's a new thing called "women's liberation", which gives you women the right to choose and you have chosen to abort me, and that I must live with. So tonight, when you arrive home, I'll be gone. I officially renounce my squatter's rights.
- Jenna Maroney: That guy wanted to buy you a drink!
- Liz Lemon: Really? But I already have a drink. Do you think he'd buy me mozzarella sticks?
- Jenna Maroney: Do you think those guys work on Wall Street?
- Liz Lemon: Yeah. I think they're from the firm Date Rape, Cokington, Cheeseball and Jag.
- Dennis Duffy: [enters house on Dateline NBC] Hello?
- Chris Hansen: Good evening, sir. I'm Chris Hansen with Dateline NBC. Can I ask you what you're doing here tonight?
- Dennis Duffy: Oh, yeah, I'm here to boff some chick named Mary.
- Chris Hansen: Boff some chick?
- Liz Lemon: [watching Dateline] Oh, my God.
- Chris Hansen: Do you know how old Mary is?
- Dennis Duffy: Yeah, uh, 22. I think.
- Chris Hansen: You wanna try again?
- Dennis Duffy: [runs into the room and turns off TV] Crap. That girl said she was 16, but I swear to God, I could tell she was 22.