User Reviews

Reasons why this sh1t is retarded: 1.) The zombies are intelligent enough to run a farm for humans, and they can execute planned and organized attacks, but they haven't figured out how to use guns or other weapons.

2.) The slave humans are raised in conditions where they never learn to even speak, yet the zombies were thoughtful enough to provide them with bra and pantie sets from Vicky Secrets.

3.) The human anti-zombie defenses consist of a simple, waist-high gate... but no fence.

4.) The "soldiers" guarding this awesome barrier can't tell the difference between a human and a zombie. Hmm, let's see, he's not rotting or even blood-stained, he's wearing our uniform and is carrying a gun, and he is a well-known soldier among the regiments. I know, let's shoot him in the head!

5.) The city of the "bad" humans who masterminded this whole zombie farm plot is populated by 5 old guys protected by a total of two soldiers (also guarding a gate with no fence). Actually, it was 4 old guys and some bewildered fat dude that looked like he was part of the camera crew, but they needed another extra.

6.) The female "general" is not attractive by any stretch of imagination, which makes their attempts to sex her up all the more painful. Also, what kind of commanding officer constantly hugs her troops?

7... oh forget it, i don't even want to write anymore about this stupid, POS movie. It might be slightly enjoyable if you're high and have company to laugh at it with, and there's nothing else on at 3 am.

This movie has B-film written all over it. The acting isn't extremely bad, just not too good. I'm still amazed that I kept looking actually, and, believe it or not, that had to do with the plot. I DID want to know what was going on. Spoiler follows: What really breaks this movie however is the ending; the final explanation of why humans support this farm is off by a factor of 2000. Somewhere in the movie they say that about 5 humans were killed for food per day... And judging from the age of those who I saw, they certainly weren't killed before an average of 25. Thus, lets assume that 25 IS the average age, then the farm should contain 45625 humans... Sorry, but I only saw a hand full. It simply makes no sense whatsoever. Also, given that by far most of the population of the Earth are supposed to be zombies, and since they only eat people, there is no reason why this very small farm would ever keep zombies from attacking that "village" in great numbers anyway. The very pillars that this movie is based upon make no sense, and therefore the motivation of the zombies, nor that of the people in the village makes any sense. And where were the children? In a human-farm where people are grown for food, there should have been the same number of people of every age, even MORE of the young ones. But you see no child whatsoever?! Yet another "plot" that is nothing more than an insult to the spectator.

Abysmal, awful, terrible garbage from beginning to end.

The acting, the actors, the direction, the wardrobe, the script, the camera work, the dialog, the story, the continuity, suspension of disbelief, the effects...everything about this movie fails. Everything about this "movie" was laughably poor, clumsy, amateurish and a downright stupid, that I'm 100% sure that anyone who rated it above a 3 worked on it. One of the "plants" even told me as much. Not even the "plants" remain loyal to this waste of film.

This "movie" makes Troma films look like Oscar pieces. I've never actually seen a film as bad as this...and I've seen "Death Tunnel." My friend uses his camcorder to make movie shorts and they're more well executed than this.

There was not a single thing I thought to be skilled or well done in this film at all. Everything right down to the core was worst than some of the feeblest first year film school attempts at film making I've seen over the years.

I've seen better acting in teenage "Live action role playing", actually scratch that... It was on par with a teenage "Live action role playing" because that's what it came off as. A bunch of amateurs overacting and making up the story as they went along whilst being directed by a pimply faced virgin who lives in his mother's basement. "Raawr! I'm a zombie!" "Grawr! I'm the HEAD zombie!' "Oh wow you brought stage blood? Awesome!" "Yeah I know right?" On that note, I've seen better makeup at our annual,local zombie walk.

Then there's story. Oh god the story was so abysmal I don't even know where to start! The script in it's entirety was so shockingly stupid, trite and just plain embarrassing from the dialog right down to the characters, that I'm not sure where to start save saying that it was just total garbage and had no merit whatsoever. I've read fanfics written by randy pre-teens that were more cohesive, polished, believable and well crafted. The script was agonizing. Simply every single element of this "film" was so terrible that words escape me.

Highlights:

• Mentally challenged slave women (who managed to find bleach and support garments during their "lives of captivity" as "zombie slaves".) Words cannot express how unfathomably bad the lead love interest "Star" is a she smacks her lips, stares into space, struggles with hard words such as "food" and exudes about as much charisma as a blow up doll.

• "Zombies" in scissor shredded clothes, stage blood and clown makeup... who care about hygiene...and seem to have sex drives.

• Zombies that "attack" by groaning and brushing heroes with outstretched but don't bite even when a heroes flesh is millimeters away from their mouths.

• Zombies that stop "attacking" and stand perfectly still to be shot, even when there are many of them crowding on person with a gun.

• Cages that have bars wide enough that even a fat person could slip between the bars.

• Male actors trying to look macho/pull a Bruce Campbell...but coming off more like gay porn actors fumbling through their dialog before the "action".

• Female roles (beyond the retarded slave women mentioned above) are butchy and resemble the female high school gym teacher some of us had.

• "Survivors" with clean clothes, fussy haircuts and 2 day stubble.

• Sets that a heavy rain fall would destroy

• Headache inducing oversaturated colors

• Dialog so strained and awkward the actors even look embarrassed.

...Oh god make it stop!! The list goes on and on!!

I watched the credits roll after and laughed that it so anyone in my film family wouldn't accidentally hire anyone who worked on this film.

Not even bad enough to be good. AVOID LIKE THE PLAGUE!

OK, this movie stinks so bad I think not even the London sewers in the mid 19th century ever got to that level, and believe me brother, they stunk. But then again, it's so awfully bad that it actually might gain some fame as the worst zombie movie ever made. The script (if there ever was one) was obviously written by someone with not even the slightest idea of what zombies are all about. Their behavior, make up, movements, acting (some of the zombies can't hold their laughter while attacking) are of the worst in movie history. I think you see the same bald headed zombie guy being shot "dead" a dozen times all through the movie. Probably the only one they spent some money on to dress him up nicely, because all the other zombies looked like anyone of us with our face painted green and some dried up ketchup stains on our face. Also the fact the zombies on the farm eat 4 to 6 humans every day doesn't make too much sense, because there weren't even a dozen prisoners in the camp to begin with. One of the fighters has a series of piercings in his face, fifty years into the zombie war, the female slaves wear bras, etc etc... you could go on all night about how much this movie stinks, buuuuut..... It's so bad I'm just gonna have to show it to some of my friends. It reminded me of Plan Nine from out of Space: it's actually so bad and amateuristic I don't know if it was done on purpose. It's actually a pretty good laugh if you're in the right company. Just don't expect you'll be watching an actual zombie movie when you rent this. The 1/10 (awful) is well deserved, and it's only 80 and a few minutes long, so you wont waste too much time on it.

Let's face it, the majority of zombie movies nowadays are horrible because of the lack of knowledgeable writers who are familiar with what a zombie is capable (or not capable) of doing so when I saw a zombie defy gravity and began crawling on the ceiling like Spiderman on the movie DAY OF THE DEAD: THE NEED TO FEED, I know the writer of that movie didn't know didly-squat about zombies and just made things up as he went along so as a result, I thought that was the worst zombie movie I ever saw but after seeing ZOMBIE WARS, boy was I wrong....dead wrong!!

After watching only the first 20 seconds of the movie, I knew it was gonna be bad and my brain actually told me to eject the DVD from the player, bury it, and just forget about it but having nothing else to watch that night, I decided to tough it out hoping things would improve (nope....it continually got progressively worse). This movie had absolutely nothing going for it....the actors delivered their lines horribly, the gore budget consisted of a bottle of barbecue sauce for blood and some garden hose covered with ketchup for guts, and they were trying too hard to imitate other successful movies ("The Council" or "The Committee" (whatever the hell they called it) was obviously their cheap version of RESIDENT EVIL's Umbrella Corporation and the occasional narration done by the female voice sounded like she was trying to be Sarah Connor to give it that TERMINATOR 2 "feel").

The plot was also the dumbest I have yet to see. If there was a zombie outbreak, how come the human survivors haven't build a protective wall around their base yet? A wall is the first line of defense and without it, one can easily get overrun by zombies and yet they have not put up so much as a chain link fence or anything....nothing!! And why is it a zombie constantly and continually manages to sneak up behind them? It seems like every second scene consists of a zombie suddenly appearing out of nowhere and jumping them from behind....don't they check their rears?? Isn't the purpose of having a firearm is so that they can fight off zombies from a distance instead of close-range....hey, these zombies are infected and disgusting so I'd want to be as far away from them as possible, wouldn't you? Finally, what about the zombies running a farm that encourages their human captives to have sex so they can have babies in which they will wait 20 to 30 years for them to grow up so they can eventually eat them....what the hell is up with that??!! A zombie, by definition, is a mindless flesh-eating creature that functions only with minimal primal instincts so if they are going to establish a farm, why not a Co-op or perhaps even a Multi-Million Dollar Commercial Enterprise....totally ridiculous!! The writer of this movie was unfaithful to the zombie genre and did not give a damn how outrageously inaccurate he was (nor did he seem to care) and to add insult to injury, he also neglected to finish the story and leave out a few questions unanswered. What happened to the cute blond girl named Star....where did she run off to (and why)? When one of the 2 guards guarding the road shot David in the head and killed him, did his group come back to take revenge or decided to take no offense whatsoever for killing one of their own and just go straight to burning his body?

Zombie Wars is now officially the worst "movie" (if you can even call it that) that I have ever seen in my entire life and the 82 minutes I've spent watching this bull plop is utterly wasted. I was forced to rate it 1 out of 10 because 1 is the lowest it would go making it a very generous score but if I had a chance, I would've gave it a -20 out of 10 because it was that bad....really really bad (I've seen more professional work done in my high school film class). I'm still contemplating whether to add this poor excuse to my respectable zombie movie DVD collection but I'm afraid to do so as it might stink up the joint and devalue everything....it would be wrong of me to recycle it and attempt to "re-gift" it to someone else so I think my only course of action is to take it outside, pour some gasoline on it, and burn it beyond recognition because letting other people watch this ought to be a crime against humanity. If you are like me and tend to boo, curse, spit, and flick popcorn on the monitor while watching a horrible movie, you are going to be doing that a lot here so bring out the Windex and get ready to microwave that second bag of popcorn 'cause you'll definitely gonna need it. Avoid....avoid like the zombie plague!!

Blue Martian is obviously easy to please. This movie is definitely one of the worst movies ever! Zombie or otherwise.

Just how exactly do you let something as slow as a zombie get the jump on you in broad daylight?

In this movie it happens time and again to men who are supposedly veterans of an on going zombie war.

Also their camp is not in any way fortified. You'd think they would at least set up a semi-sturdy wooden fence.

The zombie camp was more intelligently laid out. Keep in mind this war has been raging for 50 years! The humans still have plenty of guns and ammo. That means they had plenty at the beginning of the war.

Why the hell couldn't they finish the job in the first six months? This movie relies solely on the "Rule of Idiots" (without the idiots you wouldn't have a movie). Clearly without the idiots this movie wouldn't get through the opening credits.