- Homer Simpson: Why haven't you thrown that bum out?
- Marge Simpson: Christian charity.
- Homer Simpson: Christian Charity? What does a porn star have to do with it?
- Grampa: Can I stay home too?
- Homer Simpson: You are going back to the home. I called a cab for you.
- Grampa: But I haven't given you your presents.
- Homer Simpson: Your present is leaving.
- [Shoves Grampa outside and locks door]
- Grampa: I don't see any cab.
- Moe Szyslak: Don't you dumb dames know that all figure skaters are twinkly in the lutz?
- Elvis Stojko: That is such a misconception. For your information, I have a girlfriend in Vancouver.
- Moe Szyslak: Fake girlfriend, fake city.
- Marge Simpson: Gil's gone? But I have a "no" in me that needs to get out.
- Homer Simpson: Anyone want a thousand dollar bill?
- Marge Simpson: NO!... I mean, yes.
- Homer Simpson: Too late!
- [burns bill]
- Homer Simpson: Don't worry. I make six of these a year.