Pretty Ugly People (2008)
Missi Pyle: Lucy
Photos
Quotes
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Lucy : I'd like to raise my glass to all of you. For years you all set the standard for what I dreamed to look like, act like, and be one day. All I ever wanted was to be like one of you, but now I realize that if that dream came true, I could never be happy, because I would be noting but a self-loathing person who's undersexed, racist, misogynistic, homophobic, a dormant slut, and a ghetto-fabulous fat-ass.
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Lucy : [voiceover] Now, if you are a fat-ass and you would like to stay friends with a group of very pretty people, several rules apply: #1, always eat in private so your weight will remain a mystery; #2, always dress in workout clothes so that, you know, they'll think you're trying; #3, be sure to keep them laughing because humor is very thinning; and, rule #4 - and this is the most important one - always answer the phone on the first ring because, honestly, the fat friend is replaceable.