You Can't Do That on Television (TV Series)
Strike Now (1981)
Les Lye: El Capitano, Lance Prevort, Barth Baggs, Ross Ewich, Nasti
Photos
Quotes
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Kevin Schenk : Dad, I feel well enough to go to school this morning.
Lance Prevort : Are you sure you're not faking it?
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Narrator : You Can't Do That On Television has been a Walking Around In Circles Production.
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Narrator : Captain Kangaroo Robs a Bank will not be seen in order that we may present the following low budget program.
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Kevin Kubusheskie : Hey, Jami, don't you know your mouth's open?
Jami Burning : Sure. I opened it myself.
Kevin Kubusheskie : You better watch out you don't catch a fly in here or old Barthy might try to charge you extra for the meat.
Barth Baggs : Dyah, I heard that!
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El Capitano : Look, we're going to get this execution over without any more interruptions, without you trying to talk your way out of it, and without you wandering off somewhere.
Kevin Kubusheskie : Okay, so what's it worth?
El Capitano : What's it worth?
Kevin Kubusheskie : How much are you gonna pay me not to interrupt the execution?
El Capitano : Oh. Well, listen, if I pay you, you are going to stay right here, and you are going to get shot, and we get this over with, right?
Kevin Kubusheskie : You got it.
El Capitano : Okay, I tell you what: I give you, um, let me see... ten dollars. How's that, okay?
Kevin Kubusheskie : Thanks.
El Capitano : Ten dollars - but you're gonna STAY here, and you are going to be shot, right?
Kevin Kubusheskie : Right. Gimme five.
[They slap hands in agreement]
El Capitano : Got it. Heh-heh. Okay, we're ready. Ready? Aim!
Kevin Kubusheskie : Hey, I can't take it with me, can I?
El Capitano : Can't take it with you?
Kevin Kubusheskie : Yeah, the money. Where I'm going, I can't take it with me, right?
El Capitano : Hmm, I suppose not.
Kevin Kubusheskie : Well, I should be allowed to spend it. It's only fair, isn't it?
El Capitano : Mmm, I suppose so.
Kevin Kubusheskie : Well, I'm gonna go play pinball. See ya.
[Kevin exits]
El Capitano : Okay.
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Kevin Schenk : Dad?
Lance Prevort : What? What?
Kevin Schenk : Can I have some money to go and play pinball?
Lance Prevort : No. No.
Kevin Schenk : Well, if you don't give me any money, I'm leavin' home.
Lance Prevort : Good. Terrific. Here's your bus fare.
[Lance exits, laughing derisively]
Kevin Schenk : [to the camera after counting the money] Sometimes it's so easy - I'm ashamed of myself.
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El Capitano : Ready! Aim!
Kevin Kubusheskie : Wait! Stop the execution!
El Capitano : Oh, no. What is it thees time?
Kevin Kubusheskie : [pitiably] I'm afraid I can't pay for this execution.
El Capitano : Wadda you mean?
Kevin Kubusheskie : I don't have enough money on me to pay for this shooting.
El Capitano : What? You DON'T?
Kevin Kubusheskie : Nope. Sorry.
El Capitano : What ees THEES?
El Capitano : [to the amigos] He comes along here - CAN'T AFFORD TO PAY FOR AN EXECUTION? Ah, theese keeds these days, I don't know... Come on, get out of here. Go on! Beat it!
[Kevin exits quickly]
El Capitano : Hey... Wait a minute. Since when do we charge prisoners to be executed? Boy, that's one sneaky kid.
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Lance Prevort : All right, young lady there is your bill.
Christine McGlade : What bill?
Lance Prevort : I'll tell you... you use this place like a hotel. You're in and out at all hours. You never make your own bed. Your mother has to make all your meals for you. You never do your own laundry and you expect it to be done every day. So, here is your hotel bill.
Christine McGlade : [as she reads the slip of paper] What's this charge here?
Lance Prevort : Tax.
Christine McGlade : Oh. Do you take American Express?
Narrator : [voice-over] American Express. Don't be at home without it!
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El Capitano : Ready! Aim!
Kevin Kubusheskie : Wait! Stop the execution!
El Capitano : What is it thees time?
Kevin Kubusheskie : I left home without it!
El Capitano : Without what?
Kevin Kubusheskie : My Armenian Express card!
El Capitano : Oh, well in that case you better run home and get it. Go!
[Kevin exits]
Narrator : [voice-over] Armenian Express. Don't leave home without it!
El Capitano : [to the camera] Or you'll get shot!
