Lisa Ruddy: Elderly Lady

Quotes 

• Mr. Schidtler : No student is allowed to go on an excursion without a note from his or her parents.

  Lisa Ruddy : [writhing]  Come on, sir. PLEASE make an exception. Please.

  Mr. Schidtler : LISA! I'm sorry but RULES are RULES!

  Lisa Ruddy : [gasping]  But I only want to got to the bathroom. Please.

  Mr. Schidtler : Lisa, if I make an exception in your case, I'll have to make an exception for everyone. I'm sorry, my dear, but you'll just have to wait for the bell.

• Brodie Osome : [working as a theater usher]  Hey! What do you think you're DOING in here!

  Elderly Lady : I'm watching the movie.

  Brodie Osome : YEAH? Well, you can't. This movie is restricted to kids eighteen and under, so get out.

• Nasti : Today is your day of release.

  Lisa Ruddy : [ecstatic]  Oh! Woo-woo! Party time!

  Nasti : Yes, your day of release - BUT ve are not going to release you.

  Lisa Ruddy : Why not?

  Nasti : Vell, have you caught any diseases vhile you vas in here?

  Lisa Ruddy : No.

  Nasti : Nope? Broken any bones?

  Lisa Ruddy : No.

  Nasti : No. Fallen out any, uh, vindows? Uh, got run over by any cars? Put your hand on a hot shtove?

  Lisa Ruddy : No, of course not. How could I? I've been in here.

  Nasti : Yes. Vell, for your own good, the government has decided that you are gonna be chained up in this dungeon for anudder TEN YEARS to keep you safe unt sound. See ya around.

• Brodie Osome : You know, I think Barthy should put his burgers in childproof containers.

  Lisa Ruddy : Why?

  Brodie Osome : Well, isn't it a federal regulation that all poisons are to be kept in childproof bottles?

  Barth Baggs : Dyah, I heard that! And I'll have you know I DO keep my burger mixture in childproof containers ALL THE TIME!

  Lisa Ruddy : Well, yeah, Brodie, that's so the children can't get out.

  Brodie Osome : Can't get out? Don't you mean "can't get IN?"

  Lisa Ruddy : No, "can't get out." Who do you think's IN THE BURGERS?

  Barth Baggs : Dyah, I heard that!

• Brodie Osome : [sitting in Barth's Burgery]  You know, Lisa, when I was a little kid, my mom used to get mad at me when I ate the little mud pies I made in the puddles.

  Lisa Ruddy : Really, Brodie?

  Brodie Osome : Yeah, she said all that dirt would make me sick.

  Lisa Ruddy : Oh! Oh, I get it. So now you come here and eat THIS dirt and make up for lost time.

  Barth Baggs : Dyah, I heard that!

• Lisa Ruddy : You know, Christine, I ate mud pies when I was very little, you know.

  Christine McGlade : Really, Lisa? That's... sort of interesting.

  Lisa Ruddy : Well, yeah, and I lost my voice for two whole weeks. My mom's been trying to get me to eat them ever since.