Christine McGlade: Christine 'Moose' McGlade

Quotes 

• Lisa Ruddy : You mean there aren't gonna be any changes? Despite everyone saying that this was a new and improved, extra clean, whiter and whiter show, it's gonna be the same as before?

  Christine McGlade : Well, no, not entirely.

  Lisa Ruddy : Well, what are they gonna do different?

  Christine McGlade : It's gonna coast more and there's gonna be less of it.

• Lisa Ruddy : You know, Christine, all these commercials about food and restaurants and cooking shows are just awful. Every time I see them, I want to get up to the fridge and go get something to eat.

  Christine McGlade : From the looks of it, you must watch a heck of a lot of television.

• Christine McGlade : D'you catch the game on TV last night?

  Kevin Kubusheskie : Oh, yeah, like he's throw that ball likes nobody, eh?

  Christine McGlade : Kevin, sometimes I just can't understand a word you say. Where... where did you learn to talk like that?

  Kevin Kubusheskie : From watching them sport interviews.

• Christine McGlade : Why is television called a medium?

  Kevin Kubusheskie : I don't know. Why?

  Christine McGlade : Because it's neither rare nor well-done.

• Christine McGlade : I have just finalized the plans for a whole new and improved You Can't Do That On Television, and this is my master plan for the new show format.

  Lisa Ruddy : Uh, Christine, this is exactly the same format we've been using all along.

  Christine McGlade : Yeah. So?

  Lisa Ruddy : Well, then it's not "new and improved," is it?

  Christine McGlade : Well, yeah! I did the exact same thing that anyone else does when they "new and improve" a product.

  Lisa Ruddy : Well, what's that?

  Christine McGlade : Well, they just say it's new and improved just to make people think that it is when it's just really the same show all along. Ah, pretty good, ay? But, I've something even better to make people really believe that it's new and improved.

  [Holds up a sign that reads: "Under New Management"]