Alasdair Gillis: Alasdair Gillis

Quotes 

• Alasdair Gillis : Paperboy! No paper today.

  Lance Prevort : What? No paper today? Why not?

  Alasdair Gillis : No news and nothing interesting happened; so, no paper. Oh, yeah, and the editor said we're supposed to go around to every house and give them their money back? Yeah. So, here's your money. Keep the change. Tip.

• Lance Prevort : Aw, this week without television is killin' me. How can you kids stand it without nothin' to watch?

  Alasdair Gillis : That's easy. See, I just go down to my friend's house and watch it there.

  Lance Prevort : Oh. Is that what your mother's doin'? I don't know how she can function without her soaps.

  Alasdair Gillis : No. Mom just goes down to the laundromat and watches the drier clothes tumble.

  Valerie Prevort : [bursting in]  Lance, you should have been there! Oh, it was so exciting! Mrs. Waller's nightgown got all entangled with Mr. Fink's pajama bottoms. And you know young Dr. Alexander? Well, his pink shirt kept chasing after that handsome young football jersey. I mean, who would have thought that young Dr. Alexander would be that kind of person?

• Kevin Kubusheskie : Mom bought some of these new TV dinners.

  [Kevin drops a coin through a slit in the tin foil] 

  Alasdair Gillis : Kevin, why did you just put a quarter in that section?

  Kevin Kubusheskie : 'Cause they're Pay TV dinners, dummy.

• Valerie Prevort : [to the newspaper boy lugging his route bag]  Don't these big newspapers make you awfully tired?

  Alasdair Gillis : No, I just deliver 'em. I don't read 'em.

• Lisa Ruddy : Did you know that television cameras add fifty pounds to your weight?

  Alasdair Gillis : Really?

  Lisa Ruddy : Well, yeah, so I make sure I don't eat any television cameras.