- Announcer: Hobby Days will not be seen at this tme in order that we may bring you the following collection of garbage.
- Justin Cammy: Hey, Charity? Come here. Charity, here's the five bucks I owe you.
- Vanessa Lindores: But YOU know my name's not Charity. It's Vanessa.
- Justin Cammy: I know, but I went around collecting for Vanessa and I didn't get anything. If you want the five bucks, you gotta change your name to Charity.
- Vanessa Lindores: I don't wanna change my name.
- Justin Cammy: But, Vanessa, people give millions to Charity every year.
- Vanessa Lindores: Oh, well, in that case...
- Justin Cammy: It must drive you crazy having to torture kids all day long.
- Nasti: Vell, you know, kid, sometimes is does get to me.
- Justin Cammy: Well, why don't you take up a past-time of some sort?
- Nasti: I had vone. Oh, I loved it! I used to hunt volves, but I had to give it up.
- Justin Cammy: Well, why? What happened?
- Nasti: It was becoming addictive.
- Justin Cammy: Addictive? How could hunting wolves be addictive?
- Nasti: Vell, I was up to two packs a day.
- Vanessa Lindores: What kind of a past-time is this, shooting innocent children? Where on Earth did you get a hobby like that?
- El Capitano: Oh, as a matter of fact, it was from my last hobby - golf.
- Vanessa Lindores: Golf?
- El Capitano: Mm-hm.
- Vanessa Lindores: You started shooting kids through golf?
- El Capitano: Yeah, well, you see, one day I shot a birdie and it just snowballed from there.
- Mr. Schidtler: Today we are going to learn a few new words about collecting. Pay attention. Now, first, a person who collects stamps is called a fillatilist, someone who collects coins is called a pneumisma... masta... mastakist... kist... uh... a coin collector, and someone who is really interested in rocks is called a geli... geleologist. Any questions?
- Lisa Ruddy: Sir?
- Mr. Schidtler: Lisa.
- Lisa Ruddy: Does that mean that somebody who grows oranges for a hobby is called a Sunkist?
- Mr. Schidtler: SUN-kist? Gee... What...
- Mr. Schidtler: [looking skyward] Where does the board of education get them and why do they keep sending them to ME?
- Christine McGlade: You know, hobbies are a really interesting part of human nature. They're so diverse, and a lot of hobbies would seem really odd to people who aren't involved in them. For instance, I had this friend and she used to collect antique clocks, but she had to quit 'cause she couldn't find the time.
- Doctor: Tell me, Wyatt, d'you like to help me with my hobby?
- Wyatt Boyd: It's not needlepoint, is it?
- Lance Prevort: [does a spittake] WARM BEER?
- Justin Cammy: Sorry, Dad, but there's no more room for your beer in the fridge.
- Lance Prevort: Why not?
- Justin Cammy: You see, I've got my snowball collection in there.
- Lance Prevort: Your snowball collection? Why have you got a snowball collection? That's the strangest hobby I ever heard of.
- Justin Cammy: Yeah, I know, but just think, when I start a snowball fight in the summer, none of the other kids will stand a chance.
- Valerie Prevort: You know, Justin has a point there, dear.
- Lance Prevort: Valerie, don't encourage him.
- Valerie Prevort: Boys, where's your father?
- Wyatt Boyd: Oh, he's downstairs playing with that model train set he bought us.
- Valerie Prevort: Well, doesn't that upset you children? I mean, your father is always playing with that train set, so you never get a chance to play with it.
- Justin Cammy: Well, actually, Mom, we like it when Dad plays with the train set. Then we can watch cartoons instead of the stupid news.
- [Lance shows off his duck call collection to Vanessa]
- Vanessa Lindores: I guess you're sorta like Mom's friend Madge. You know, the one who just moved to Australia.
- Lance Prevort: Oh, does she, uh, collect calls?
- Vanessa Lindores: No, she calls collect... every day.
- Lisa Ruddy: Wyatt, d'you hear about Barth's new hobby?
- Wyatt Boyd: Uh-oh.
- Lisa Ruddy: You see, every night, he goes down to the hockey rink and sits behind the goalie's net and he catches all the pucks that go into the audience. He's been doing it for years.
- Wyatt Boyd: Wow, he must have a huge collection by now.
- Lisa Ruddy: Well, no. Whadda you think's...
- Lisa Ruddy, Wyatt Boyd: [together with Lisa] ... in the burgers.
- Barth Baggs: [waving a hockey stick] Dyah, I heard that!