Scrubs (TV Series)

My Mirror Image (2006)

Sarah Chalke: Dr. Elliot Reid

Quotes 

• Carla : [J.D. tells Carla, Elliot, and Turk that Kim is pregnant]  I'm sorry J.D. but you knew this could happen when you had sex.

  Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : I have to tell you guys something but you have to promise not to laugh. Ok?

  [Carla, Elliot, and Turk agree] 

  Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : Ok, on the night of said conception, ah, Kim and I nude-ed up, and um, the dirty talk began and I got a little over excited.

  Dr. Christopher Turk : Oooh, She like a the dirty talk!

  Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : No, I do. I find it gets the ladies going. But I occasionally get wrapped up in it myself, especially when I use some of my different voices.

  Dr. Elliot Reid : He does.

  Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : Anywho, there was some unexpected friendly-fire, and uh, even though I never got a chance to enter the, the village, ah, there was an air strike on one of the outlying regions.

  Dr. Christopher Turk : [Turk yells excitedly and Carla pulls his ear to stop him]  Thank you.

  Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : Anyway, I talked to the gals in O.B.G and they said it's not uncommon for a woman to get pregnant even if there was no actual penetration.

  Dr. Christopher Turk : What your trying to tell us is that you never actually had sex with her?

  Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : [after a brief pause]  I didn't have a condom.

  [Muffled giggles from Turk, Carla, and Elliot] 

  Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : And ah, we decided not to have sex because, here's the kicker, I didn't want to get her pregnant.

  [Carla, Elliot, and Turk break out in hysterical laughing] 

• Turk : Yo, Elliot... what's your ringtone?

  Dr. Elliot Reid : "Jesus, Take the Wheel" by Carrie Underwood.

  Dr. Todd Quinlan : I'm carrying underwood right now. See, that's funny because it's true.

  [holds up his hand for a five, but Elliot looks disgusted] 

  Dr. Todd Quinlan : Please?

• Dr. Cox : Say, Barbie, have you seen any of the interns around?

  Dr. Elliot Reid : Yeah. They did so well at rounds, I'm just letting them watch a show

  [Cox turns his head and sees all the interns watching television] 

  Dr. Cox : Oh... hi, interns.

  All the Interns : [rising their hands, still watching TV]  Hi...

  Dr. Cox : Look... you pretty obviously have short-circuited because the odds of you ever actually having a baby are roughly on a par with me finding the Loch Ness monster in my bathtub!

  Intern : Ssst! I can't hear the TV.

  Dr. Cox : Oke... ah... oh...

  [Cox becomes suddenly mad and throws the TV out the window] 

• Carla : J.D. needs us right now, okay? So, this is what we're gonna do. Dr. Cox, you're backing off. Elliot, you go talk to him.

  Dr. Elliot Reid : Can't wait to talk to J.D. Maybe we can chat about how everyone in this frickin' hospital, other than me, is having a baby. I mean, seriously.

  [Points to Carla] 

  Dr. Elliot Reid : Having a baby,

  [points to Turk] 

  Dr. Elliot Reid : having a baby,

  [points to Dr. Cox] 

  Dr. Elliot Reid : having a SECOND baby.

  [addressing a nurse at the next table] 

  Dr. Elliot Reid : Oh, having her husband's best friend's baby. That's right, Mona, everyone knows!