Monk (TV Series)
Mr. Monk Goes to a Rock Concert (2006)
Jason Gray-Stanford: Lieutenant Randy Disher
Quotes
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[Stottlemeyer notices that Randy faked being sick to go to the Band Jam. He gets out his cell phone and calls Randy from a few feet away. Randy answers]
Lt. Randall Disher : [feigning illness] Hello?
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Hey, Randy? How are you doing, buddy? I was worried about you.
Lt. Randall Disher : Captain?
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Yep?
Lt. Randall Disher : [coughs] What time is it?
[the expression on his face suggests that Stottlemeyer is very unconvinced, but he pretends that he is]
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Oh I'm sorry! Did I wake you up? Hey what's that music I hear?
Lt. Randall Disher : Oh, it's my stereo! It's broken. I can't turn it down.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : It's loud!
Lt. Randall Disher : Listen, Captain, thanks for calling.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Sure...
Lt. Randall Disher : I'm going to get up now and make myself some soup.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Soup is good, fluids are good. Drink plenty of fluids.
Lt. Randall Disher : Fluids, all right, thanks for calling, Captain.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Take care.
[Randy hangs up, turns to a woman next to him and says]
Lt. Randall Disher : My boss!
[He laughs, until Stottlemeyer puts his hand on Randy's shoulder and he wheels around]
Lt. Randall Disher : Whoa. Captain.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Lieutenant.
Lt. Randall Disher : Did you, uh, did you call in sick, too?
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : No, Randy. I'm looking for Jared.
Lt. Randall Disher : Well, here's what happened with me: I was on my way to a doctor, and uh... I got nothing. Let's go find Jared.
[Takes a sip from his beer bottle before putting it down and walking away with Stottlemeyer]
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[Stottlemeyer opens the outhouse door to look inside]
Annoyed Girl in Line : How long are you going to be?
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : As long as it takes, miss. This is a crime scene.
Annoyed Girl in Line : With only one cop?
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Uh, no, it's not just me. You see that guy up there on the hill?
[points to Monk, up on the hillside]
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : He's a cop. And this guy here is a police officer.
[points to Disher]
Lt. Randall Disher : Oh these guys are great. Oh, I hope they do 'Killer Machine.'
[calls out]
Lt. Randall Disher : KILLER MACHINE!
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Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : [over walkie-talkie] He says it was locked and bolted from the outside.
Adrian Monk : [over walkie-talkie, standing on the hillside] They could have rigged the lock. Over.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Yeah. You know it would help a lot if you stood a little closer.
Adrian Monk : That's not going to happen. Over.
Kendra Frank : [to Natalie] So is this how he does it? From 100 feet away?
Natalie Teeger : Not all the time.
[Stottlemeyer opens the door of the port-a-john to look inside]
Annoyed Girl in Line : How long are you going to be?
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : As long as it takes, miss. This is a crime scene.
Annoyed Girl in Line : With only one cop?
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Uh, no, it's not just me. You see that guy up there on the hill? He's a cop.
[points to Monk on the hillside]
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : And this guy here is a police officer.
Lt. Randall Disher : Oh these guys are great! Oh I hope they do "Killer Machine!"
[calls out]
Lt. Randall Disher : KILLER MACHINE!
[Natalie and Kendra Frank look unimpressed]
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : [to Monk, over walkie-talkie] Uh, I'm checking out the lock here. There are some scratches.
Adrian Monk : Are they recent? Over.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Yeah, there's no rust.
[He finds a piece of wire]
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : I've got a little piece of wire here.
