SpongeBob SquarePants (TV Series)
As Seen on TV/Can You Spare a Dime? (2002)
Tom Kenny: SpongeBob SquarePants, Narrator, Gary, Old Fish, Tall Fish
Photos
Quotes
-
Old Man Jenkins : Hey, you!
SpongeBob : Top o' the morning, oldster!
Old Man Jenkins : Hey! I saw you on TV last night.
[Cuts to Old Man Jenkins watching a Bran Flakes commercial]
Commercial Announcer : New Bran Flakes! Bold new taste! Bran Flakes!
[Cuts from the Bran Flakes box back to SpongeBob]
SpongeBob : You did?
Old Man Jenkins : Yeah, you were on a commercial.
SpongeBob : You're right! Wow, he recognized me.
Old Man Jenkins : [while Spongebob walks away] Yep. See you later, Bran Flakes! What a nice cereal box.
-
Squidward : SpongeBob, the remote's broken. Get over here and fix it.
[SpongeBob hurls the cardboard television into the air, jumps onto Squidward and pokes him on the nose emphatically]
SpongeBob SquarePants : [irritably] I have a better idea: why don't I get someone whose *job* it is to fix it? See, 'cause when I need a *job* done, I get somebody with a *job* to do that *job*!
[Squidward narrows his eyes]
Squidward : [suspiciously] What are you saying?
SpongeBob SquarePants : Aaaaah!
[SpongeBob screams loudly and furiously and pushes Squidward's bed to the Krusty Krab]
-
SpongeBob SquarePants : Squidward, you're making a big mistake!
Squidward : Mistake? Ha! The only mistake I ever made was wasting my life at the Krusty Krab!
SpongeBob SquarePants : But a visit to the Krusty Krab makes everyone happy! And what could be better than serving up smiles?
[gives a really big smile]
Squidward : Being dead, or anything else!
SpongeBob SquarePants : I never knew you felt so strongly about this.
Squidward : Where have you been?
-
Squidward : I can be anything I set my mind to. I can be a football player, or a king, or a spaceman.
SpongeBob SquarePants : Or a football-playing king in space, with a moustache.
Squidward : Yeah. Uh-huh. You know, that reminds me. There's something I've always wanted to tell you since the first day I met you: Goodbye.
-
[SpongeBob falls down the stairs into the living room]
Gary : [apathetically] Meow...
SpongeBob : [gasps in anger] Gary! Squidward is not a freeloader, and he would never take advantage of me!
Narrator : Three weeks later...
SpongeBob : [exhausted] He's just having a hard time getting his confidence back.
[falls down]
Narrator : Many months later...
SpongeBob : [totally exhausted] I'm sure he's close to a breakthrough.
[falls down again]
New Narrator : So much later that the old narrator got tired of waiting and they had to hire a new one.
[SpongeBob crawls into the living room now exhausted than ever]
Gary : [reproachfully] Meow, meow, meow!
SpongeBob : [furious] I know he's still isn't looking for work! Don't rub it in!
-
Mr. Eugene H. Krabs : Where's Spongebob?
SpongeBob SquarePants : [Under the ground] Down here, sir.
Mr. Eugene H. Krabs : What are you doing down there, boy?
SpongeBob SquarePants : Squidward said I can help by burying myself.
Mr. Eugene H. Krabs : Well, get out of there. I need you to help with the commercial.
SpongeBob SquarePants : Me, in the Krusty Krab commercial, me!
-
SpongeBob : Listen, you crustaceous cheapskate! Squidward's been living at my house, driving me crazy! And you're not gonna hire him back all because of a STUPID DIME?
-
SpongeBob : We're like brothers... only closer.
-
[SpongeBob has discovered that Squidward is homeless]
Squidward : Don't you get it? I'm a loser! I lost my job, my home, everything!
SpongeBob : [gasps] Even your paintings?
Squidward : Nobody would take them. So I had to eat them.
[Squidward's stomach is shown in the shape of a picture frame, and then Squidward openly sobs]
-
SpongeBob : [to Gary] Squidward is not a freeloader and he would never take advantage of me.
-
SpongeBob : Look, Gary, there I am!
-
SpongeBob : They seem to like it when I put these patties on the grill.
-
SpongeBob : So if Squidward never took your dime he could come back to work?
-
SpongeBob : This is a dime?
-
SpongeBob : [enraged he squeezes the glass of lemonade very hard it shatters] Two Things that WON'T, WORK!
-
SpongeBob : [now angered] Fine I'll just take it out!
[tries grabbing the lemon wedge out of the beverage]
-
SpongeBob : What about it?
-
SpongeBob : Coming Squidward.
-
SpongeBob : You know when you swatted that newspaper out of my hands it kind of reminded me of what a friend of mine did. At his JOB!
[the alarm clock sounds sending him flying]
-
SpongeBob : [now getting ready to explode but still remaining calm] Hmm That's two things in this house that WONT WORK!
-
SpongeBob : Why not?
-
SpongeBob : [gives the lemonade to an irritated Squidward] Here you go your majesty.
-
SpongeBob : Oh, Okay! How about THIS!
[shows a newspaper with the job listings]
-
SpongeBob SquarePants : [putting on a puppet show with two puppets while talking in a falsetto voice] Hey where are you going? To my job. You have a job? Why wouldn't I? I'm not some sort of lazy inconsiderate jerk who lays in bed all day. Say where can I get one of these jobs?
[Squidward keeps watching but he's furious]
SpongeBob SquarePants : Oh they're everywhere especially if you're green and have six tentacles. Thanks I'm going to go look for one so I can stop
[gets furious]
SpongeBob SquarePants : MOOCHING OFF MY FRIENDS! And they can get back to their lives!
-
SpongeBob : [running after him] Squidward you're making a big mistake.
-
SpongeBob : Ahhh No!
[catches the hat on a pillow]
-
SpongeBob : [reaches into his pockets and starts throwing dimes at Mr. Krabs] Then Have some More Dimes! I've got plenty of them!
-
SpongeBob : [grabs Mr. Krabs by his chest lifts him up and starts screaming at him] Listen you crustacious cheapskate! Squidward has been living at my house driving me crazy!
[violently shaking Mr. Krabs]
SpongeBob : And you cannot hire him back all because of a stupid dime!
[a large metal wheel drops on the floor]
SpongeBob : what's that?
