Monk (TV Series)
Mr. Monk and the Big Game (2006)
Tony Shalhoub: Adrian Monk
Photos
Quotes
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Adrian Monk : [sitting in Principal Franklin's office] Ah, this brings back memories. Sitting in the principal's office.
Natalie Teeger : You? I can't picture you being sent to the principal's office.
Adrian Monk : I wasn't sent. I used to go there on my own. To report on the troublemakers, I was Mr. Campman's eyes and ears. That's what he called me.
Natalie Teeger : Ummm, so you spied on other kids?
Adrian Monk : I was keeping the study hall safe for people like you. You're welcome.
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Natalie Teeger : So you've never won anything in your whole life?
Adrian Monk : Once, at a birthday party, I won a game of musical chairs.
Natalie Teeger : Well, that's something.
Adrian Monk : But then I was disqualified. A mother said I went counter-clockwise, or something.
Natalie Teeger : Well, at least you got invited to the party!
Adrian Monk : It was my party, okay, it was my mother.
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[Monk, Natalie, and Julie are putting all of Monk's "Case Trophies" on his mantle]
Adrian Monk : I'm gonna need a bigger mantle. Natalie! I'm gonna need a bigger mantle!
Natalie Teeger : Your mother would be so proud.
Adrian Monk : Oh, no she wouldn't. But it's still nice of you to say.
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Principal Franklin : Yes, Mr. Monk we met last year, at the career day. How have you been?
Adrian Monk : The same.
Principal Franklin : Well, I'm sorry to hear that.
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Adrian Monk : [trying to give Natalie a boost up to a very high window] Up you go.
Natalie Teeger : [refusing to step into Monk's hands] Up *you* go.
Adrian Monk : Up you go!
Natalie Teeger : No! I'm just the assistant, remember?
Adrian Monk : I believe the word "assist" is a very large part of the word "assistant." Right, "assist," from the Latin meaning "UP YOU GO!"
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Adrian Monk : [to Julie and her friends] Stay in school. Don't take dope.
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Adrian Monk : Fine, everybody just go out there and give 100%.
Emily C. : But Coach Hayden said we should give 110%.
Adrian Monk : No, no, that's a bad idea anyway. It's mathematically impossible. Just give 100%, it's a nice round number.
Emily C. : Well I'm going to give 110%.
Adrian Monk : Fine, okay, then Julie, you give 90%.
Emily J. : Well I'm going to give 115%.
Adrian Monk : For god's sake, fine, then Julie you're down to 75%.
Julie Teeger : Mr. Monk, how am I supposed to...?
Adrian Monk : Just do it! Okay, all right, now that's 110%, 100%, 100% 115%, 75%.
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Adrian Monk : [examining the crime scene] It seems like the coach ran into a lot of bad luck in this room all at once.
Natalie Teeger : Well, I guess that's how it happens sometimes.
Adrian Monk : Yes, to me, but this happened to someone else.
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[Monk and Natalie are in the girl's bathroom]
Natalie Teeger : You okay?
Adrian Monk : Girl's bathroom.
Natalie Teeger : What are you afraid of?
[pokes Monk]
Natalie Teeger : Cooties?
Adrian Monk : Don't laugh. The jury's still out on cooties. If we could only get more federal funding...
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[Julie and two of her friends visit Monk at home]
Emily C. : You iron your shoelaces?
Adrian Monk : Mmm-hmm.
Emily J. : Why are there three of them?
Adrian Monk : [holding them up] Left, right, backup.
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[Monk, with difficulty, hoists Natalie to the top of some lockers]
Natalie Teeger : Well, higher!
[Straining, he does so]
Natalie Teeger : Oh, my God!
Adrian Monk : What is it?
Natalie Teeger : Oh, my God!
Adrian Monk : Natalie, what is it?
Natalie Teeger : There are footprints!
Adrian Monk : Footprints... down you go.
Natalie Teeger : Okay, down I go?
Adrian Monk : Down you go.
Natalie Teeger : Down we go.