It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (TV Series)

Dennis and Dee Go on Welfare (2006)

Charlie Day: Charlie Kelly

Photos 

Quotes 

• Frank Reynolds : Charlie, you've got a lot of balls stealing my money. This shows leadership. I am promoting you to management.

  Charlie Kelly : That's why I did it. That is why I did it.

  Mac : That's why I did it too, Frank! I stole lots of your money, what do I get?

  Frank Reynolds : You get dick, because you are a follower and a thief.

  Dee Reynolds : How come Charlie...? Not fair... How come Charlie...?

  Dennis Reynolds : Why would you do this to us, Dad?

  Frank Reynolds : Because you are crackheads, children.

• Mac : [looking over prospective employees at the welfare office]  What about that one? He seems strong. Look at those massive thighs.

  Charlie Kelly : Yeah those are good thighs, but you're gonna have a problem with work ethic.

  Mac : That's what I'm talking about dude, you can't be saying things like that.

  Charlie Kelly : No dude, I'm not saying that 'cause he's black, I'm saying 'cause he's asleep in his chair.

• Charlie Kelly : All I'm saying is that slaves is not a racist term. Look throughout history many people have been slaves. There have been Jewish slaves, Italian slaves, Asian slaves.

  Mac : Yes Charlie but you have to realize that in this country it's a sensitive issue.

• Frank Reynolds : Well, if we're gonna do something like this, we gotta make sure we don't abuse anybody.

  Charlie Kelly : No, I mean I know what it's like to grow up poor. You know, we gotta treat people with respect.

  Mac : Respect is the name of the game. Respect is number one!

  Charlie Kelly : It's the name of almost every game.

  Mac : Absolutely because we understand the plight of the worker.

  Charlie Kelly : Plight...

  Mac : Respect.

  Charlie Kelly : Respect the plight. What d'ya think, Frank?

  Frank Reynolds : I'm good, go get us some slaves.

• Charlie Kelly : Alright. So what's the vig?

  Frank Reynolds : What?

  Charlie Kelly : Yeah, man. What's the vig on this action?

  Frank Reynolds : Do you even know what VIG means?