- Carey Martin: You boys need to do your American History homework
- Zack Martin: Mother, there is no American History. Yesterday we got here on the boat and today we bathed in the creek!
- Carey: [to Cody] That's my little warrior!
- Zack Martin: Ha! Your little warrior sleeps with a bunny-rabbit nightlight.
- Carey Martin: I once dated this guy...
- [Zack and Cody groan]
- Carey Martin: What?
- Cody Martin: You fought against City Hall and won.
- Zack Martin: And then he dumped you.
- Carey Martin: Have I told you this story before?
- Zack Martin: No. That's just how all your boyfriend stories end.
- Zack Martin: I just had a dream that taught me two things; No matter how small you are, if you're fighting for something you believe in, you could win.
- Cody Martin: What's the second thing?
- Zack Martin: Bob looks terrible in petticoats.
- Maddie: Ok Esteban. Who was the first president of the United States?
- Esteban: It's...
- London Tipton: Oo! I know this one. He chopped down a cherry tree, icky wooden teeth. Don't tell me.
- Esteban: It's George Washington!
- London Tipton: No, that's not it.
- Maddie: Yes. It is. The guy on the one dollar bill.
- London Tipton: They make a one dollar bill?
- Maddie: I bet you can't name a single Founding Father.
- London Tipton: Can so. My father founded Tipton Industries!
- Maddie: But that's not...
- London Tipton: I'm bored. Bye!
- [London walks off]
- London Tipton: Stop! If you get any dirt on this dress, daddy will take away your bully dozer!
- [dodges the bulldozer]
- Carey: Wow, how'd you figure that out?
- Cody Martin: Zack did.
- Carey, Arwin: No, seriously.
- Zack Martin: You know, I wish you people would realize that I'm a thoughtful and intelligent person.
- Carey: I realize that, honey.
- Zack Martin: We're gonna go lay down in front of the bulldozers.
- Carey: I spoke too soon!
- Mr. Moseby: Maddie we need to raise the prices
- Maddie: These prices are so high I won't even be able to get afford a used horse
- [in a girly voice]
- Maddie: And I'm like getting my license like this year
- Mr. Moseby: [looks at Esteban confused]
- Esteban: She's a valley forge girl.