- Drake Parker: Look, maybe I can fix the motor
- Josh Nichols: You can't fix a sandwich!
- Drake Parker: If you make fun of me one more time, I'm gonna tell everyone we know you named your favorite pillow Mr. PuffPuff.
- Josh Nichols: I'm sorry if I offended you.
- Mrs. Parker: Aw, Drake, you don't eat a hot dog wearing a tuxedo!
- Drake Parker: This hot dog's not wearing a tuxedo.
- Leslie: [after Drake repeatedly makes fun of his name] Okay, uh, you know, I tell you what. You can rot in a sack for all I care. Goodbye.
- [starts walking back to his truck]
- Josh Nichols: [gets down on his knees] No! No-no-no-no! Please, wait! Don't leave!
- Leslie: [without turning around] ROT IN A SACK!
- [gets in his tow truck and drives off]
- Drake Parker: All right, w-well we're not gonna figure a way out of this if we're all full of urine, so let's go pee.
- Josh Nichols: [looking through Trevor's emergency kit] We have... a quarter, a can of salmon... open, an ice tray, and half a shoe.