R.I.P.D. (2013)
Jeff Bridges: Roy
Photos
Quotes
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Roy Pulsipher : [to Nick] You are just gonna have to learn to sit on your regret and pain until it turns into a dull, persistent ache. The way I do it. The way a man does it.
Business Person : [walks up to Roy's avatar] I do music videos. Home phone number's on the back.
Roy Pulsipher : Excuse me? I'm not a piece of meat put on this earth for your gratification, I'm a woman. Respect me or I will castrate you like a three-year-old steer.
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Roy Pulsipher : One of them coyotes, he made love to my skull. You know what that practice is commonly called?
Nick : I do... and I certainly hope he got both eyes, Roy.
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Nick : When exactly was your day?
Roy Pulsipher : 1800s, buddy. I'm what we used to call a lawman. Marshal Roysephus Pulsiper.
Nick : Roysephus?
Roy Pulsipher : It was considered a very sexy name at the time.
Nick : It sounds like an STD.
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Roy Pulsipher : [prepping his guns] Just like Main Street, Dodge City. Them dudes, they picked the wrong venue to make a stand. I invented this shit.
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Roy Pulsipher : The universe, in its ultimate wisdom, will not let you reveal yourself. It's smarter than us.
Nick : That's sick.
Roy Pulsipher : Consider it the universe's witness protection program.
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Nick : You frosty?
Roy Pulsipher : Icy hot, partner!
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[last lines]
Roy Pulsipher : I knew you weren't happy with Grandpa Chen, so I pulled a few strings, for you some new ID.
Nick : Thank you. Thank you, Roy. I mean that. This is great.
[looks in his new wallet]
Nick : Oh, you gotta be shitting me.
Roy Pulsipher : Ah, I did what I could. Inventory is what it is.
Nick : [looking in the wallet] You thought this was an improvement?
Nick's New Avatar : [Gets in the car and drives off]
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[R.I.P.D. headquarters exits out into a VCR repair shop in Boston]
Nick : You ever think about hiding this place a little better?
Roy Pulsipher : When was the last time you got a VCR repaired?
Nick : [eyeing the shop clerk] Point taken.
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Roy Pulsipher : Let's learn you a few things about Old West fighting! First,
[Roy shoots, erasing a deado]
Roy Pulsipher : Only a novice hides in a church steeple. It's the first place I'm gonna look. Second place, hotel window, every time.
[shoots again, but doesn't hit anything]
Nick : I guess there's only one novice in their crew.
[Nick and Roy both turn and fire, erasing a deado on a building roof]
Roy Pulsipher : Sometimes the window guy is on the roof.
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Roy Pulsipher : I guess I could have bought you flowers once or twice.
Proctor : [giving him an amorous look] I like violets.
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[from trailer]
Roy Pulsipher : Damn. I don't know what eyes to shoot you between.
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[repeated line]
Roy Pulsipher , Nick : [when in apparent mortal danger] Relax body!
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Roy Pulsipher : Come to think of it, with all this tantrummy, I'm starting to think I was a little too generous with the plus on that C.
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Roy Pulsipher : Total humiliation. Just a pants down spanking in the supermarket.
