- Joe Montgomery Hackett: So, what do you want to do, huh? Hey, how 'bout charades?
- Brian Michael Hackett: No! No charades. First one to mime something dies.
- Helen Chapel: Joe, I know you don't like Davis. But if you don't take me to New York, I'll kill you while you sleep.
- Joe Montgomery Hackett: Well gee, when you put it that way, it makes it so hard for me to say no way in Hell!
- Brian Michael Hackett: That's right, because if he's going to take anybody, my sweet, it's gonna be me and Alex to Connecticut. 'Cause I am his brother after all.
- Helen Chapel: Oh yeah. The brother who once stole his fiancee.
- Brian Michael Hackett: Wait a second now. Who's dating the guy who won't invest in his airline?
- Helen Chapel: Well who's his best friend?
- Brian Michael Hackett: Well who wrecked his car--never mind.
- Antonio Scarpacci: Let's start with the hair. What is this goop you put on it now?
- Roy Biggins: I don't put anything on it.
- Antonio Scarpacci: [Faye and Antonio laugh] No, really.
- Roy Biggins: Really!
- Antonio Scarpacci: Faye, we have much to do.
- Antonio Scarpacci: Maybe we could do a, what do you call it, makeover?
- Fay Evelyn Schlob Dumbly DeVay Cochran: Well in this case, more like a make-do.
- Helen Chapel: Now what are you looking at? You think I wanna be here?
- Alex Lambert: I know. I'm being selfish.
- Brian Michael Hackett: No. No you're not being selfish. We had a perfectly lovely evening planned, and they ruined it.
- [to Joe]
- Brian Michael Hackett: And you can stop smiling.
- Joe Montgomery Hackett: [Grinning] No, actually I can't.
- Helen Chapel: David called. He's free after all. I'm going to New York to see him. Hey Roy, get me on your last flight to LaGuardia.
- Roy Biggins: No can do. It's booked.
- Helen Chapel: Well, then I'll ride up front with the pilot.
- Roy Biggins: I already sold that seat.
- Helen Chapel: Fine! I'll ride down below in a pet carrier.
- Roy Biggins: Believe me, I would love to oblige. But the FAA said I can't do that anymore.