The Simpsons (TV Series)

The Bart of War (2003)

Dan Castellaneta: Homer Simpson, Farty the Crippled Robot, Male Angel, Sideshow Mel, Mayor Quimby, Grampa Simpson, Rich Texan, Groundskeeper Willie

Photos 

Quotes 

• Homer Simpson : I didn't know you were such a Beatles fan.

  Ned Flanders : Of course I am,! They were bigger than Jesus! But your boy went Yoko and brought up my collection!

  Homer Simpson : Look, Marge! I'm Brian Epstein.

  [drums his hands on some Beatles bobbleheads and giggles] 

  Homer Simpson : Now I'm Michael Jackson.

  [in falsetto voice] 

  Homer Simpson : I own all your songs, losers.

• Bart Simpson : [after the Calvary kids have won the prize for most boxes of candy sold even though their candy contained laxatives]  I guess that's it, they beat us

  Nelson Muntz : At least we made a lot of people sick

  Homer Simpson : Well I'm not finished, where does it say we have to be gracious in defeat?

  Bart Simpson : Its on the back of our vests

  Homer Simpson : Marge remove that stitching

• Homer Simpson : [reading the Pre teen braves brochure]  Hey these freaks do a lot of cool stuff, cookouts, bowling

  Lisa Simpson : Maybe you should lead Bart's tribe?

  Homer Simpson : You mean like some sort of madman?

  Lisa Simpson : Ideally no

  Homer Simpson : I'll do it!

• Mayor Joe Quimby : Welcome fans of everyone's favourite past time

  [reads the card] 

  Mayor Joe Quimby : Baseball!

• Marge Simpson : [a riot is occurring in Duff Stadium]  All I wanted was to glue feathers on felt and teach the boys good citizenship

  [she starts to cry and the cameraman turns the camera to her] 

  Homer Simpson : [Seeing her crying on the stadium screen]  That's my wife and she's crying!

  Groundskeeper Willie : Dry your tears lass

  Otto Mann : Then show us your boobs

  Drederick Tatum : [after repeatedly punching Moe]  Dear God, why are we fighting?

  Others : I ain't doing any fighting