The Simpsons (TV Series)

The Bart of War (2003)

Hank Azaria: Chief Wiggum, Lou, Kirk Van Houten, Apu Nahasapeemapetilon, Drederick Tatum, Carl, Pyro, Moe Szyslak, Captain McAllister

Photos 

Quotes 

• Drederick Tatum : Hello Springfield, I'm heavyweight champ Drederick Tatum issuing a challenge to see who can sell the most candy, winners will become honorary bad boys at the next Isotopes home game, proceeds will go to keeping people like me off the street, I can't help myself, punch and grope, punch and grope, its all I was taught

• Carl Carlson : Carl:

  [Watching the riot] 

  Carl Carlson : I don't remember this much bad blood when I was a Cavalry kid.

  Lenny Leonard : I was a pre teen brave!

  [He hurls a chair at him] 

  Carl Carlson : I sang at your wedding!

  Lenny Leonard : Yeah, "The best is yet to come", real original!

  [hurls another chair at him] 

• Apu Nahasapeemapetalong : Pre teen braves? Is this another one of those community youth groups that inhibit the culture of those you invaded and destroyed?

  Marge Simpson : Exactly the pre teen braves

• Marge Simpson : [a riot is occurring in Duff Stadium]  All I wanted was to glue feathers on felt and teach the boys good citizenship

  [she starts to cry and the cameraman turns the camera to her] 

  Homer Simpson : [Seeing her crying on the stadium screen]  That's my wife and she's crying!

  Groundskeeper Willie : Dry your tears lass

  Otto Mann : Then show us your boobs

  Drederick Tatum : [after repeatedly punching Moe]  Dear God, why are we fighting?

  Others : I ain't doing any fighting

• Chief Wiggum : Well, well, well, looks like a couple of punks... are gonna be taking the last train to Clarksville.

  Lou : That's the Monkees, chief.

  Chief Wiggum : Go wait in the car.

  Lou : [muttering as he walks out]  Fine. It was the Monkees.