Drake & Josh (TV Series)
Josh Runs Into Oprah (2006)
Miranda Cosgrove: Megan Parker
Quotes
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Megan Parker : [sympathetically] Look, I know how bad you must feel right now, but tomorrow morning I guarantee you'll feel much worse.
Josh Nichols : That doesn't make me feel any better.
Megan Parker : [brightly] I know. Night.
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Josh Nichols : Who's Toby?
Megan Parker : He's a virtual pet. I'm watching him for my friend Janie while she's at bassoon camp.
Josh Nichols : Why didn't she take Toby with her?
Megan Parker : 'Cause he's a lot of work. You have to feed him, walk him, groom him and play with him or else he'll die.
Josh Nichols : Cool. Can I see it?
Megan Parker : No. He doesn't like men... or... whatever... YOU are.
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Josh Nichols : Hey Megs.
Megan Parker : Hey, happy birthday.
Josh Nichols : Oh you remembered.
Megan Parker : Of course, why wouldn't I?
Josh Nichols : Because Drake forgot.
Megan Parker : Well who could blame him? His mind is like a black hole. Stuff keeps getting sucked in and nothing ever comes out.
Josh Nichols : Yeah, I guess you're right.
Megan Parker : Here I got something that will cheer you up.
Josh Nichols : What?
Megan Parker : [pulls the cover off a cake] Ta-da
Josh Nichols : You you made me a birthday cake?
Megan Parker : Uh huh. Mom gave me the recipe I think it turned out really good.
[lights the candles on the cake]
Megan Parker : There.
Josh Nichols : Wow aww this is really.
[mood quickly changes]
Josh Nichols : It's Full Of Poison Isn't It!
Megan Parker : [shocked] No!
Josh Nichols : Then what then? Huh! Huh! Huh! Hot Sauce? Some kind of extreme laxative?
Megan Parker : Oh come on. I wouldn't let you eat a cake that will make you sick on hot birthday
Josh Nichols : I'm sorry.
Megan Parker : It's okay. Make a wish.
Josh Nichols : Alright
[blows out the candles on the cake and the cake explodes covering Josh in the cake]
Megan Parker : [laughing] I didn't say it would explode.
Josh Nichols : I'm not upset at you for doing it, but I'm more upset at myself for not anticipating it.
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Josh Nichols : [hearing the electronic dog barking] Ohhhhhh No!
[storms into the living room]
Josh Nichols : Megan will you shut that virtual pet up!
[Toby barking excessively]
Megan Parker : What do you think I'm doing? This thing wouldn't let me go to sleep.
Josh Nichols : Could you at least yank out the batteries or turn it off.
Megan Parker : I can't if Toby dies Janie won't talk to me anymore.
Josh Nichols : Well who needs her!
Megan Parker : What?
Josh Nichols : Who needs people anyway? People they just hurt. They they borrow your money without asking then they spill coffee all over your fresh underpants
[Megan cuts him off]
Megan Parker : Okay who puked you off.
Josh Nichols : Drake! He forgets my birthday, but he throws a big surprise party for his fluffy new girlfriend who he's only known for a week.
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Josh Nichols : Hey what's all that noise.
Megan Parker : Must be Drake he's practicing on his new bongos.
Megan Parker : Stupid hippie drums! I'm going to talk to him.
Megan Parker : Okay.
[watching over the virtual pet]
Megan Parker : Aww Toby not on the virtual couch.
[puts down the virtual pet and tries to take a nap]