- Troy McClure: Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such other nature films as "Earwigs, Ew!" and "Man Vs Nature: The Road To Victory."
- Marge Simpson: Bart, I'm sorry, but there's nothing we can do. Your lizards are banned by federal law.
- Bart Simpson: Everyone thinks they're monsters, but I raised them and I love them! I know that's hard to understand.
- Marge Simpson: Mmm. Not as hard as you think.
- [hugs Bart; whispers]
- Marge Simpson: Run for it.
- Marge: Nelson? I explicitly forbade Bart from playing with that little monster. Oh, Bart is in deep, deep trouble. Oh, yes, and punish Lisa for lying to us.
- [leaves the house]
- Homer: All right, young lady. March yourself directly to the Kwik-E-Mart and get me some chips and a beer. Get a little somethin' for yourself, sweetheart.
- Homer Simpson: I rolled up all the socks.
- [holds up a giant ball of socks]
- Homer Simpson: What's next?
- Marge Simpson: [takes the socks from him] While I deal with this, why don't you start on that basket?
- Homer Simpson: All right. Oh, I hate folding sheets.
- Marge Simpson: That's your underwear.
- Homer Simpson: Well, whatever it is, it's a two man job. Where's Bart?
- Marge Simpson: He's up in his room. Bart!
- Homer Simpson: It's okay, Marge, I'll get him.
- [loudly yells]
- Homer Simpson: Bart!
- Bart: [about Nelson's gun] Whoa, can I try that sometime?
- Nelson Muntz: Yeah, sure. Never hurts to have a second set of prints on a gun.
- Bart: Wow, thanks, Nelson. I'll come by your house later!
- Marge: Oh, no you won't! You stay away from Nelson Muntz.
- Bart: But Mom!
- Marge: Nelson's a troubled, lonely, sad little boy. He needs to be isolated from everyone.
- Bart: But Mom!
- Marge: Yes?
- Bart: That's all I got.
- Homer: Aw, you look like a little tiny dinosaur.
- [it bites Homer]
- Homer: YOW! That's one vicious baby bird!
- Lisa Simpson: Dad, they aren't birds.
- Bart Simpson: Sure they are. They came from eggs in a bird's nest, therefore they are birds. Ickso, Fatso.
- Lisa Simpson: One, they don't have beaks. Two, they don't have feathers. And three, THEY ARE LIZARDS!