The Simpsons (TV Series)

The Joy of Sect (1998)

Hank Azaria: Hare Krishna Guy, Christian, Store Clerk, Glen, Moe Szyslak, Carl, Movementerians Lawyer, Cletus, The Leader

Quotes 

• Homer Simpson : Wait, I'm confused about the movie. So the cops knew that internal affairs were setting them up?

  Glen : What are you talking about? There's nothing like that in there!

  Homer Simpson : Oh, you see when I get bored I make up my own movie. I have a very short attention span.

  Jane : But our point is very simple. You see, when...

  Homer Simpson : Ooh, a bird!

  [runs outside and giggles goofily as he chases it] 

• Hans Moleman : [in a "Just Crichton and King bookstore"]  Do you have anything by Robert Ludlum?

  Store Clerk : Get out.

• Jane : A new and better life awaits you on our distant home planet, Blisstonia.

  Homer Simpson : [gets given a leaflet]  Hmm. Makes Sense.

  Jane : We're having a free get-acquainted session at our resort this weekend.

  Homer Simpson : How much is this free resort weekend?

  Glen : It's free.

  Homer Simpson : And when is this weekend?

  Glen : It's this weekend.

  Homer Simpson : Uh-huh. And how much does it cost?

  Glen : Um, it's free.

  Homer Simpson : I see. And when is it?

  Glen : It's this weekend.

  Homer Simpson : And what are you charging for this free weekend?

  Bart Simpson : Come on, Dad. The team's arriving.

  Homer Simpson : [being dragged away by Bart]  It's free, right?

• Jane : [about Homer]  Why isn't our low-protein gruel wearing down his resistance like all the others?

  Glenn : It doesn't wear down your resistance if you eat a whole month's supply! He even ate mine!

• Glen : Let the judgment begin! I'll get the ball rolling.

  Glen : [to Homer]  You're a fat idiot.

  Barney : Yeah lose some weight!

  [whole group voices their agreement] 

  Homer Simpson : Hell yeah I guess I could lose a few pounds. And I can be kinda thick sometimes! Hehehe.

  Principal Skinner : [sternly]  You've failed at everything you've ever tried.

  Homer Simpson : Whoa, you got my number on that one buddy. This is a smart group!

  Moe Szyslak : And your stink brings tears to my eyes!

  Homer Simpson : Now wait a minute Moe.

  [sniffs own armpit] 

  Homer Simpson : Oh, my mistake.

• Hare Krishna Guy : [to Bart and Homer]  Have you heard of Krishna Consciousness?

  Homer Simpson : This, Bart, is a crazy man!

• Propaganda movie narrator : When you surrender yourself to the Movementarians, you are guaranteed a perfect life of serenity, love and loving serenity. Not a guarantee.

  Moe Szyslak : It's about damn time.

  Otto : I love the leader!