Undergrads (TV Series)

Financial Aid (2001)

Pete Williams: Parker 'Nitz' Walsh, Justin 'Gimpy' Taylor, Cal Evans, Rocko Gambiani

Quotes 

• Gimpy : I don't know who told you *doing* something was the answer. Why do you think I never leave my room?

  Nitz : Because you're a paranoid megalomaniac with deep-rooted woman issues?

  Gimpy : And severe delusions of grandeur!

• Rob Brody : We've gotten a lotta calls from a bunch of big bands looking to lend their voices to our cause. Well, more like one band really. Reg Against the Machine.

  Nitz : Rage Against the Machine?

  Rob Brody : No. *Reg* against the machine. They're a local cover band but they're really good. Well 'band' might be a bit strong. It's really just the one guy, Reg, but he multitasks instruments.

• Rocko : Time to kick some hippy ass!

• Gimpy : Computers never make mistakes.

  Computer : Hard drive crash. Twenty seconds to meltdown.

  Gimpy : Gotta go.

• Nitz : So, uh, what's your rally for?

  Kimmy Burton : Oh, we're protesting the school for investing its money in socially irresponsible companies such as "Hey, Kid Tobacco", "Thunderhorse Wine Coolers" and the Catholic Church.

• Kimmy Burton : You should join the Center for Campus Organizing. Then we can fight the good fight together. Side by side, day and night, night and day.

  Nitz : [thought "balloon"]  Heh-heh, Kimmy Burton thinks you're an activist. You don't even like to change your socks.

  Nitz : Of course I'll join your group. We activists have to stick together.

  Nitz : [thought "balloon"]  Lying putz.

• [last lines] 

  Nitz : I can't help but think that in some small way we partially responsible for what happened today.

  Rocko : I blame Cal. It's all his fault.

  Nitz : Cal? Why? What did he do?

  Rocko : I don't know? The guy's just a wad.

• Rocko : Die, recycling-conscious scum!

• Gimpy : Nitz, look, Kimmy Burton is at your door! It's just like in your dream, except she has clothes on!

• The Duggler : Where it's at, groovy cats? Diggin' fusin' some tie behind the man's bungalows round the witching hour? A super happy gas for the masses!

  Nitz : Okay, why is the Duggler here?

  Med student : He's pretending it's still the Sixties.

• Rocko : Alright, if I'm going to be in your crappy group, then we're going to do things *I* like, like being obnoxious and destroying stuff! Understand?

  Nerd #2 : Uh, is the lesson on robins over? Because if so, I missed the part about its distinctive wing markings.

• [In line at the financial aid office] 

  Nitz : Tired... feet hurt... need to go to the bathroom... starving... cold... in my warm bed... watching... Battlebots...

  [starts dozing off] 

  Nitz : ... Battlebots.

  [falls asleep in line] 

• Cal : I come here for quality Cal-time. I don't have to think, or... think, because no one even knows the group exists. Even the lovely ladies can't find me here.

• Kimmy Burton : We are still experiencing overwhelming levels of student apathy. No matter what we do, no-one seems to care.

  Rob Brody : [Playing with a ball and paddle]  Oh sorry, were you saying something?

  Kimmy Burton : I was just saying that we need a larger issue! One that people can relate to and get behind! Does anyone have any ideas?

  The Duggler : [Reading a magazine]  Oh, I didn't know Jackie O Was a Pisces!

• Rocko : What are we gonna do?

  JROTC members : Shoot all the longhairs!

  Rocko : When are we gonna do it?

  JROTC members : In plenty of time to watch Iron Chef!