- Lou Ferrigno: Arthur borrowed 30 dollar from me and he said he'd pay me back today.
- Doug Heffernan: Lou, Lou, Lou... that money's gone.
- [after the party]
- Doug Heffernan: Now we know. When Lou drinks a little tequila, he starts lifting people over his head.
- Spence Olchin: We should've robbed this house 45 minutes ago.
- Danny Heffernan: I had to get my allergy shot.
- Spence Olchin: We're not robbing a cat!
- [to Carrie]
- Doug Heffernan: At our wedding we had about 125 guests; eleven years later we have six. So you might wanna pull your attitude back a little.