Undergrads (TV Series)

Rivalries (2001)

Pete Williams: Parker 'Nitz' Walsh, Justin 'Gimpy' Taylor, Cal Evans, Rocko Gambiani

Quotes 

• Rocko : Central State Junior Community College just kicked your ass.

  Announcer : Wow, looks like we have a prankster wearing a t-shirt from a fictitious college.

  Rocko : That's right, dammit. Don't mess with us. We're WICKED fictitious.

• Gimpy : There isn't a question we can't answer!

  Rocko : Here's one, geniuses. What's it like to kiss a girl?

  Gimpy , Nitz : Shut up.

• [State U band plays Mickey. Nitz closes the window. Cal starts singing to himself] 

  Nitz : Cal please I was up all night playing trivia with Gimpy. Cal? Cal?

  Cal : Not Cal. The Manatee and I must answer the Manatee signal.

  [Cal struggles to open the window with his Manatee flippers] 

  Cal : Uh, help?

• Cal : This costume gives me great power, the power to instill school spirit and make people cheer. But along with great power comes great responsibility. I'd be letting the school spirit down if I didn't go, and the school spirit is a ghost that will kill me if I disobey. Ghosts are scary, guy.

• Rocko : Let me talk to Cal.

  Nitz : Rocko, you have to stop beating him up.

  Rocko : I have to, do I? Is that a challenge you and your school would be willing to settle on the field of honor with a football game?

  Nitz : Uh, no.

  Rocko : Then put him on the phone.

  Cal : Ahh, hey best buddy Rocko. Yeah I do think one more good one and it'll break. Yeah that does bleed when it gets poked. Ok guy see you soon.

• Gimpy : Look at the crowd. It kinda makes me want to...

  Mump : Pee?

  Gimpy : Please don't finish my sentences.

• Gimpy : I gotta give thanks to the big guy up in the clouds. That one's for you, Lando.

• Gimpy : I must break you. Heh. Rocky 3.

  Nitz : That's Rocky 4, Trivia Master.

  Gimpy : Damn!

• Cal : Did you know that Tech sucks?

  Nitz : Gimpy goes to Tech.

  Cal : Oh yeah. Well I guess I hate my best friend.

• Trivia game : In what country was baseball invented?

  Gimpy : I don't know this obscure sports trivia.

• Gimpy : I'm gonna kick your behind all the way to the front!

  Nitz : Yeah, well your ass is grass mister!

  Mump : You don't know who you're messing with, Nitz! Team Tech is gonna reach on your ear and tear you a new nostril, after we eat your unborn children right out of you uterus!

  [beat] 

  Mump : Too much?

• Gimpy : Come on Mump. You know you're like Wedge to my Luke Skywalker. Trusty, loyal, and you never die.

• Nitz : Together we can answer any question.

  Rocko : I got one for you guys: What's it like to kiss a girl?

  Nitz , Gimpy : [Together]  ... Shut up!

• Craig the fraternity leader : Rocko, what are you doing?

  Rocko : What does it look like I'm doing? It's Saturday, and Saturday night means college football, and college football mean tailgating, and tailgating means respectable early morning drinking.

  Craig the fraternity leader : Rocko, it's Friday night, we don't have a football team, and why are you wearing a skirt?

  Rocko : Sometimes I like to feel pretty.

• Gimpy : [recurring line]  Oh you.

• Gimpy : Go back to your cheating husband? Are you crazy? Forty lashes with a wet noodle to you, Ann Landers!

• Mump : I guess I was pretty rotten to you too, Nitz.

  Nitz : Yeah, you were.

  Mump : [Evilly]  And I'd do it again.

  Gimpy : That's my boy!