- Mike Brady: [fed up with the kids' silent treatment at the dinner table, Mike taps his glass for attention] Okay, kids, that's it. You are all released from your vow of silence and I want to hear a little conversation and not about the weather.
- Mike Brady: [Peter has been brought into the den for a talk with Mike and Carol] Guess you're wondering why we've asked you to this private caucus.
- Peter Brady: It kind of entered my mind.
- Mike Brady: From what we've been able to learn, there's a security leak in the Brady administration. You seem to come off as Mr. Know-it-all. Any explanations?
- Peter Brady: Gee, I didn't think it would turn out like this.
- Carol Brady: You didn't think what would turn out like what?
- Peter Brady: Well... I kind of bugged the rooms with Dad's tape recorder.
- Mike Brady: [shocked] You kind of what?
- Carol Brady: Peter, why would you do a thing like that?
- Peter Brady: I only did it for a joke.
- Mike Brady: You think eavesdropping on people's private conversations is a joke?
- Peter Brady: I meant it to be.
- Mike Brady: Son, invasion of privacy is a serious offense. People can be sued for that.
- Peter Brady: [shocked] You mean my own brothers and sisters are going to sue me?
- Carol Brady: Well, since this is your first offense, I think they might settle for an apology.
- Mike Brady: [firmly] Immediately!
- Carol Brady: [notices the kids are eating dinner in complete silence] What is this, a silent contest?
- Mike Brady: If silence is golden, this must be worth a fortune.