The Simpsons (TV Series)

Dog of Death (1992)

Harry Shearer: Boss in Commercial, Commercial Announcer, Sanjay Nahasapeemapetilon, Kent Brockman, Principal Skinner, Lenny, Montgomery Burns, Waylon Smithers, Voice of Doggie Heaven, Barfly #1, Ned Flanders

Quotes 

• Smithers : I, ah, I hate to interrupt your longevity treatment, sir, but there's a sweet little boy at the door.

  Mr. Burns : [muffled, from behind the glass]  Release the hounds.

• [Mr. Burns sees one of his hounds limping and wheezing] 

  Mr. Burns : What's wrong with Crippler?

  Smithers : Oh, he's getting on, sir. He's been here since the late-'60s.

  Mr. Burns : Ah, yes. I'll never forget the day he bagged his first hippie. That young man didn't think it was too "groovy".

• Smithers : People like dogs, Mr. Burns.

  Mr. Burns : Nonsense! Dogs are idiots. Think about it, Smithers. If I came into your house and started sniffing at your crotch and slobbering all over your face, what would you say?

  Smithers : Um, if you did it, sir?

• Mr. Burns : Now, as an attack dog you'll be expected to neutralize intruders.

  Smithers : Wanna buy some cookies? Wanna buy some cookies?

  [Santa's Little Helper starts licking Smithers' face] 

  Mr. Burns : Oh, if that were a real Girl Scout, I'd have been bothered by now.

• Mr. Burns : I'm looking for something in an attack dog, one who likes the sweet, gamey tang of human flesh. Hmm, why here's the fellow. Wiry, fast, firm proud buttocks... reminds me of me.

• Ned Flanders : So, recycling is our way of giving Mother Earth a great big hug!

  Mr. Burns : Yes, well, it does sound like fun. I can't wait to start pawing through my garbage like some starving raccoon!

  [to Smithers] 

  Mr. Burns : Release the hounds.

  [to Flanders] 

  Mr. Burns : Well, neighbor, I see you've got your running shoes on. That's a good thing.

  Ned Flanders : Aaahhhh!

  [he sees the hounds coming and runs away]