Those Were the Days (1998 TV Movie)

Carroll O'Connor: Archie Justice

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Quotes 

• Edith Justice : Of course, Mr. Religion here wasn't seein' eye to eye with the sermon.

  Archie Justice : What sermon? That was socialist propaganda, pure and simple. And don't give me that look, you didn't think it was so hot neither.

  Edith Justice : I said it was different, that's all, but I didn't curse the Reverend Felcher from right there in the front pew.

• Richard 'Dickie' : That's all you care about is what you got and how you can keep it.

  Archie Justice : Well I wanna tell you, sonny boy. You'd care about them things too if you had anything, if you wasn't livin' off of me. You, you ain't got a pot to peel a potater in.

• Edith Justice : Richard, that's no way to talk on the sabbath.

  Archie Justice : Stifle, Edith.

  Edith Justice : And no way yo talk to your father-in-law.

  Archie Justice : Edith, I asked you to stifle.

  Edith Justice : Sunday is a day of peace and rest.

  Archie Justice : Stifle, Edith.

  Edith Justice : And eat a nice brunch.

  Archie Justice : I'm askin' you to stifle.

  Edith Justice : We're all hungry.

  Archie Justice : Will you stifle yourself!

• Archie Justice : Did you know that we have two atheists under this roof?

  Edith Justice : Yeah I know, but maybe if we had a little something to eat.

  Archie Justice : Oh will you stifle yourself, you silly dingbat.

• Edith Justice : Oh you can't talk without swearin'. No, everything you say is G.D. that or G. D. this.

  Archie Justice : You call that swearin'? Is that what you call swearin'? The first word is God. I suppose that's a swear word, huh? The second word is damn. That's a very good word. The river is damned to prevent it from floodin', right? And in the Bible, you read where so-and-so is damned for cheatin' or stealin' or committin' insects in the family. And who damned them? God damned them, that's who.

• Richard 'Dickie' : I think it's wonderful that Dickie wants to help the underprivileged.

  Edith Justice : Listen, if he wants to help the underprivileged, let him start with himself. He's got no brains and he's got no ambition, and if that ain't underprivileged, I don't know what is.

  Richard 'Dickie' : That's it. Mother, we're moving out of here. I don't care what happens to me, but I'm not staying here another minute to hear my husband insulted like that.

  Archie Justice : Archie, say you're sorry. If she leaves here, she'll be dead inside a year.

• Archie Justice : Dr. Goldstein says she's anemic.

  Edith Justice : Ah, don't gimme that, will ya. Some of these doctors, you hand them 25 dollars, they tell you anything you wanna hear.

  Archie Justice : He's the best in the business when it comes to blood. My own cousin from the hospital said so.

  Edith Justice : You own cousin from the hospital empties bedpans. Don't make him out no specialist. Anyway, I heard what Dr. Feinstein...

  Edith Justice : Goldstein

  Archie Justice : Goldstein, Feinstein, it all comes to the same thing and I know that tribe.

• Archie Justice : I tell ya, Gloria, you married the laziest white man I ever seen.

• Richard 'Dickie' : Implying the blacks are even lazier?

  Archie Justice : Hold it Meathead, hold it there. I didn't say that, you said that. I never said your black beauties was lazy. Just that their systems is geared a little slower than ours.

• Archie Justice : It so happens there's a black guy that works down at the building with me, and he's got a bumper sticker on his car that says "Black is Beautiful". So, what's the matter with black beauties, huh?

  Edith Justice : It's nicer than when he called them coons.

• Archie Justice : My father, yeah, David. My father's name is David.

  Richard 'Dickie' : And you mother's name was Sarah, huh?

  Archie Justice : Sarah, that's right. My mother's name is Sarah. So what?

  Lionel Jefferson : David and Sarah, two Jewish names.

  Archie Justice : David and Sarah, two names right out of the Bible, which has got nothin' to do with the Jews.

• Archie Justice : Lionel, I ain't Jewish.

  Edith Justice : I didn't know you was Jewish.

  Archie Justice : What the hell are you talkin' about! You of all people should know I ain't Jewish.

  Edith Justice : You are talkin' with your hands.