- Bart: [Bart makes a crank call to Moe's after being ordered to call his father by Skinner] Hello, is Homer there?
- Moe: Homer who?
- Bart: Homer... Sexual.
- Moe: Wait one second, let me check.
- [announces to the bar]
- Moe: Uhh, Homer Sexual? Aw, come on, come one! One of you guys has gotta be Homer Sexual.
- [Patrons laugh]
- Homer Simpson: [laughing] Don't look at me.
- Principal Skinner: Gentlemen, according to my sources, you are planning to simultaneously drop your pencils at 2:15 this afternoon. Do so, and you will be suspended.
- Principal Skinner: [At the school, the morning after he breaks up with Patty] Farewell, my Patty-cake. Good night, sweet principal. Oh, Springfield Elementary, I will have you back again! After all, tomorrow is another school day!
- Selma Bouvier: [Selma's going on a date with Barney Gumble] It's time to ashcan my girlhood hopes and dreams, and grab hold of the first train out of the station.
- Springfield Elementary School sign: [Skinner sees the sign after his breakup with Patty] Bart Simpson: Owner and Proprietor
- Principal Skinner: Little Jimmy Pearson. Class of '71, right?
- Jimmy Pearson: Principal Skinner.
- Principal Skinner: [to Pearson] Get this woman a glass of water! And tuck in your shirt.
- Principal Skinner: [to Patty] Nearly 30 and still working as a busboy! Standardized testing never lies.
- [Homer stares at Apu]
- Apu: I am loathe to interrupt your meditation sir, but the time has come for money to change hands!
- Homer Simpson: Oh, sorry.