The Simpsons (TV Series)

Dead Putting Society (1990)

Dan Castellaneta: Homer Simpson, Ralph, Commentator

Photos 

Quotes 

• Marge Simpson : Homer, I'm a little worried that you're getting too caught up in this silly golf tournament.

  Homer : But Marge, this is our big chance to show up the Flanderses!

  Marge Simpson : Well, I'm sure it is, but why would we wanna do that?

  Homer : Because sometimes the only way you can feel good about yourself is by making someone else look bad! And I'm tired of making other people feel good about themselves.

  Marge Simpson : Mmmm...

• [Homer is reading Ned Flander's letter] 

  Homer : You are my brother.

  [Homer, Bart, and Lisa laugh] 

  Homer : I love you.

  [They laugh again] 

  Homer : And yet I feel a great sadness... in my bosom.

  [They're hysterically laughing] 

  Homer : Wait, there's more.

  [the others laugh again] 

  Marge Simpson : I think that's terrible. A man opens his heart and you made fun of him.

  [Marge walks away to laugh at Flanders] 

• Homer : Bart Remember what Vince Lombardi said, if you lose you're out of the family!

• Lisa : I'm studying for the math fair. If I win, I'll get a brand new protractor.

  Homer : Too bad we don't live on a farm.

• Bart : But Dad, I've never won anything before in my life.

  Homer : Son, this is the only time I'm ever gonna say this: it is NOT okay to lose.

• Homer : 'Fraid not!

  Ned Flanders : 'Fraid so!

  Homer : 'Fraid not infinity!

  Ned Flanders : 'Fraid so infinity plus one!

  Homer : D'oh!

• Ned Flanders : [Flanders pours Homer a beer from a tap in his rumpus room]  Here's a tasty little lager that came all the way from Holland.

  Homer : Well, beggars can't be choosy.

  [Homer drinks some and let's out a loud belch] 

• Marge Simpson : Homer, I couldn't help but over hear you warp Bart's mind.

  Homer : And?