The Simpsons (TV Series)

Dead Putting Society (1990)

Nancy Cartwright: Bart Simpson, Todd Flanders

Photos 

Quotes 

• Lisa : I want you to shut off the logical part of your mind.

  Bart : Okay.

  Lisa : Embrace nothingness.

  Bart : You got it.

  Lisa : Become like an uncarved stone.

  Bart : Done.

  Lisa : Bart, you're just pretending to know what I'm talking about.

  Bart : True.

  Lisa : Well, it's very frustrating.

  Bart : I'll bet.

• Bart : Hey, Lis, what do you call those guys in chess that don't matter?

  Lisa : Well, a blockaded bishop is of little value, but I think you're referring to a pawn.

  Bart : Right, I am a pawn.

  Lisa : Um, I know. It's times like this I'm thankful that dad has little to no interest in almost everything I do.

• Lisa : Bart, having never received any words of encouragement myself, I'm not sure how they're supposed to sound. But here goes: I believe in you.

  Bart : Thanks, man.

• [Lisa takes Bart to the library] 

  Bart : Lisa, we can't afford all these books.

  Lisa : Bart, we're just gonna borrow them.

  Bart : Oh. Heh, heh. Gotcha.

  [wink] 

• Bart : But Dad, I've never won anything before in my life.

  Homer : Son, this is the only time I'm ever gonna say this: it is NOT okay to lose.

• Bart : I can't believe it - you actually found a practical use for geometry.

• [preparing for the big miniature golf tournament] 

  Lisa : Eighth hole.

  Bart : Aim for the octopus's third tentacle.

  Lisa : Twelfth hole.

  Bart : Bank it off the pink tombstone.

  Lisa : Nirvana.

  Bart : A state of bliss attained through the extinction of the self.