The Simpsons (TV Series)

Children of a Lesser Clod (2001)

Dan Castellaneta: Homer Simpson, Grampa, Lugash, Moleman, Bill Cosby, Producer

Quotes 

• [after Homer drove the van into a tree] 

  Arnie Pie : He's jumping out of the car, Kent. He's trying to climb over the fence. He's realizing he's too fat. He's digging a hole like a dog! Now he's giving up on that and he's running back and forth. He's climbing into a pipe and he appears to be stuck. His legs are dangling in a comical fashion. Oh, it's the saddest thing I've ever seen!

  Kent Brockman : Arnie, how are the *children*?

  Arnie Pie : [irritated]  I can't see through *metal*, Kent.

  Chief Wiggum : [catching Homer in the act]  All right, Fatty. Out of the pipe!

• Ralph Wiggum : Where are we going, Mr. Simpson?

  Homer : I'll tell you where we're NOT going: jail!

  Milhouse : Then you'd better turn.

  Homer : Uh-oh! Aaah!

  [Homer realises that he's driving to jail, screams and turns] 

• Homer : My kids wear these hearts to remind them they are always loved.

  Man : Aww. Did you make them yourself?

  Homer : Yes. Through the magic of caring.

  Lisa : [Bart and Lisa are seen in the garage, making the hearts]  Night will come soon.

• Homer : [playing basketball]  You da man Carl! I believe you can fly!

  Carl : You know I'm so sick of peope thinking I'm good at basketball just cause I'm African-American.

  Carl : [Carl slam-dunks the ball; breaking the backboard]  Go Carl! Go Carl! It's ma birthday! It's ma birthday! 3P you got mail baby!

• Bill Cosby : [On "Kids Say the Darnedest Things"]  Now my good man, what do you like to play?

  Kid : Pokémon!

  Bill Cosby : Pokémon? Boogieman with the pokey and the man and the eight with the guy comes out and there's a thing,

  [puts down his mic and walks away from his stool] 

  Bill Cosby : and he barks the frr out of that...

  [starts sounding nonsensical with his hands near his ears] 

• Kent Brockman : [reporting Homer's ensuing kidnapping of the day care kids]  An award ceremony erupted in kidnapping tonight... as alleged good guy Homer Simpson absconded with several children... in a stolen paddy wagon. Now let's go to Arnie Pie in the Sky.

  Arnie Pie : [from his helicopter]  I can see them right below me. I'm gonna try to nail the driver with one of my shoes.

  Kent Brockman : Arnie, please leave this to the police.

  Arnie Pie : [selfishly oblivious]  I'm sick of being a reporter. I want to make the news!

  Kent Brockman : Arnie, this is not the time!

  Arnie Pie : [still competitive]  *You're* not the time, Kent! *You're* not the time!

• Ralph Wiggum : [as Homer is loading him and the other kids in the van nearby]  Where are we going?

  Homer : Uh, for frosty chocolate milk shakes!

  [Insane Laugh] 

  Homer : Frosty chocolate milk shakes!