- [Bobby is fighting his mom and kicks her in the crotch]
- Peggy Hill: That's right Bobby. As you can see, I do not have testicles. Where's your secret weapon now?
- Kahn: She bluffing. Finish her.
- Bill Dauterive: I wish I had a son to kick me in the nuts.
- [Dale suddenly kicks Bill in the groin]
- Dale Gribble: Be careful what you wish for.
- Clark Peters: What are you gonna do? Are you gonna kick me in the nads?
- Bobby Hill: Am I gonna do it? Yes. When am I gonna do it? Don't know. Could be tomorrow - now!
- [kicks Clark in the crotch]
- Bobby Hill: One thing you'll find out about me, Clark, is that I'm not a very patient person.
- Kahn: I heard what you did to Chane Wassanasong. Unforgivable! Then I heard what you did to your father. Very funny. So I'm conflicted.
- Bobby Hill: I didn't go looking for trouble. Trouble came a-knockin' and Bobby Hill's foot answered the door.
- paramedic: I palpated the left teste and everything checks out, but there's going to be quite a bit of swelling for a few days.
- Peggy Hill: Well, what about... the other one.
- paramedic: Well, we can't find it right now.
- [Bobby took a self-defense class for women, and is attacked]
- Bobby Hill: Let go of my purse. I don't know you.
- [kicks assailant in the crotch]
- [Hank practices boxing with Bobby]
- Hank Hill: You leave your face open, you're gonna get popped. See? Pop! Pop! Pop!
- [Bobby kicks Hank in the crotch]
- Bobby Hill: You left yourself open, Dad. Pop pop!
- Dale Gribble: I live in constant fear of the day Joseph can finally take down his old man. If I were him I'd do it while I was sleepin'. Best chance he's got! Although I've recently learned how to sleep with my eyes open! God am I tired...
- Kahn: What? The old man punishing you? You don't have to take that from him. Till he can get up from that chair, you the boss,
- YMCA employee: There is one other class, but it wouldn't be right for you.
- Bobby Hill: There's nothing about the YMCA that's right for me.