- [while flying Hector Ramierz and his crew in a Dragonfly through the Rockies, Shipwreck spots a missile heading his way]
- Shipwreck: Uh-oh, SAM!
- Arnold: My name is Arnold, not Sam!
- Shipwreck: Not Sam! S-A-M! Surface-to-Air Missile! Now shut up and let me fly!
- [Shipwreck avoids the SAM, but the Dragonfly starts plummeting out of control]
- Shipwreck: Told you you'd never forget this ride! Now all we've gotta do is live through it!
- Cover Girl: Oh, bad news. If that computer is right, Shipwreck's heading towards the Rockies and certain death.
- Gung-Ho: You mean Cobra?
- Cover Girl: I mean Duke when he finds out.
- Cover Girl: Alpine! You've gotta help us! Shipwreck may be in big trouble somewhere in the Rockies!
- Alpine: Naturally. Where else would you expect to find a sailor in trouble?
- Hector Ramirez: Oh, now, wait just a cotton-picking minute! Can the charade! This is all a fake! Tell 'em, Arnold!
- Baroness: Fool! You are the stupidest male I ever met!
- [pulls off mask to reveal the Baroness]
- Shipwreck: I coulda told you that.
- [last lines]
- Duke: Shipwreck, would you mind telling me what the bloody blue blazes is going on?
- Hector Ramirez: [laughing hysterically] Oh, it was great! It was wonderful! Emmy material! A Pulitzer prize! There was laughing gas and fighting and guns and explosions! I got it all on tape! I gotta get this to my network! Fantastic! What a scoop!
- [kisses a confused Duke on the cheek]
- Hector Ramirez: Love you! You Joes are great!
- Duke: All right, I'd like an explanation for all this!
- [laughing gassed Joes, Ramirez and Tom continue laughing hysterically]
- Duke: On second thought, forget it.
- Cobra Commander: [yelling at laughing gassed Cobra troopers] They're escaping! The cavern is collapsing! What's so funny?
- Cobra Commander: Thanks to our tunneling machines, we found this previously-undiscovered cavern! A perfect base for our operations!
- Shipwreck: I always said you couldn't tell your face from a hole in the ground!
- Cobra Commander: I will not allow such impertinence, especially from an enlisted man!