The Simpsons (TV Series)

Duffless (1993)

Yeardley Smith: Lisa Simpson

Quotes 

• Lisa Simpson : I want the most intelligent hamster you've got.

  Clerk : Okay.

  [reaches into a box under the counter] 

  Clerk : Uh, this little guy writes mysteries under the name of J. D. McGregor.

  Lisa Simpson : How can a hamster write mysteries?

  Clerk : Well, he gets the ending first, then he writes backward.

  Lisa Simpson : Aw, c'mon.

  Clerk : Look, kid, just take him before his mother eats him, all right?

• [Lisa comes back to her room to find her science project report stolen] 

  Bart Simpson : Looking for something?

  [Bart is sitting in her chair, stroking Snowball II a la Ernst Stavro Blofeld] 

  Lisa Simpson : What have you done with my report?

  Bart Simpson : I've hidden it.

  [Lisa runs out] 

  Bart Simpson : To find it, you'll have to decipher a series of clues, each more fiendish than...

  Lisa Simpson : Got it!

  Bart Simpson : D'oh!

• Lisa Simpson : [writing]  I propose to determine the answer to the question: Is My Brother Dumber Than A Hamster?

  Bart Simpson : [passing by]  Hey, Lis, look what I can do!

  [sticks his entire fist in his mouth, then tries, unsuccessfully, to pull it out again] 

  Bart Simpson : Doggone it.

• Marge : I'm don't like you experimenting on your brother.

  Lisa Simpson : Please, mother it's purely in the interest of science.

  [thinking] 

  Lisa Simpson : That'll learn him to bust my tomater.