"Mystery Science Theater 3000" Squirm (TV Episode 1999) - Michael J. Nelson as Mike Nelson

Mike Nelson : I'm gonna Willem Dafoe all over you!
Mike Nelson : Hi, folks. Mike Nelson here. Crow and Servo are about to help me with the annual Satellite of Love safety check. You guys ready?

Crow T. Robot : Roger.

Tom Servo : Ramjet.

Mike Nelson : Fire extinguisher?

Tom Servo : Empty.

Crow T. Robot : Shot it off in your face. Next.

Mike Nelson : Okay. Flare gun?

Tom Servo : Did it.

Crow T. Robot : Shot it off in your face. Next.

Mike Nelson : First aid kit?

Tom Servo : Used it to treat your flare burns.

Mike Nelson : Right. Parachute?

Crow T. Robot : Gym class.

Mike Nelson : Life vest?

Tom Servo : Faulty.

Mike Nelson : Ham radio?

Crow T. Robot : Mistook it for an actual ham.

Mike Nelson : There, the Satellite of Love is completely unsafe. Hey, does anything work?

Tom Servo : Yeah, the toaster over. We used it to bake the ham radio. Mmmm.

Mike Nelson : Oh, OK, well then. We're dead. We'll be right back

Crow T. Robot : Come on, Mike, we're gonna go stick our heads in the towel dispenser.

Tom Servo : Weeee.
Mike Nelson : [as the title "Squirm" appears on the screen] I don't know why, but okay.

[Mike, Crow, and Servo all squirm around in their seats]

Michael J. Nelson: Mike Nelson