- Howard Handupme: A meteor, twice the size of earth, is heading towards our planet and will destroy all life.
- [a piece of paper is slid across the desk by an assistant]
- Howard Handupme: This just in: no, it's not.
- Earl Sinclair: Oh, good.
- [changes the channel from the news and finds a wrestling match, which is depicted as two live action dinosaurs fighting in an old black and white movie]
- Earl Sinclair: Oh, wrestling.
- [chuckles as he settles in]
- Earl Sinclair: I am the mighty Megalosaurus, the king of the dinosaurs. And when the king of the dinosaurs wants a 90-inch television set, he's going to get a 90-inch television set. So what do you have to say about that?
- Fran Sinclair: The Tyrannosaurus is king of the dinosaurs.
- Earl Sinclair: That's debatable.
- Fran Sinclair: No it isn't. I dated one in high school.
- Baby: [as he is introduced to Earl] Hi! I'm the baby! Brand new, just out, gotta love me! Come on, gotta love me!
- Earl Sinclair: [the Baby's reaching for the remote as Earl watches a wrestling match] Don't you touch that remote control.
- [Baby puts a single finger on the TV remote]
- Earl Sinclair: Don't you pick that up.
- [Baby picks it up]
- Earl Sinclair: You turn off that television, you're gonna be one sorry little dinosaur.
- Baby: [turns off TV and pops up] I'm sorry!
- Earl Sinclair: Gimme that back.
- Baby: Story.
- Earl Sinclair: No story.
- Baby: Story.
- Earl Sinclair: No story.
- Baby: Story!
- Earl Sinclair: No story, gimme that back.
- [Baby hits Earl in the face with the remote]
- Earl Sinclair: [trying to scare Baby] Once upon a time, dinosaurs didn't have families. They lived in the woods, and ate their children, and it was a golden age.
- Earl Sinclair: There's no dinner, there's no vegetables.
- Fran Sinclair: Dinner ate the vegetables.
- Earl Sinclair: And left just like that? Without coffee? Well, he's never eating around here again.
- Earl Sinclair: And your apology would begin how?
- Fran Sinclair: Pots and pans, to cook your dinner in, dinner for YOU, gee I don't know WHERE my apology should begin.
- Charlene Sinclair: Daddy, can't I even say hello without you thinking that I want something?
- [Earl looks at her]
- Charlene Sinclair: A sweater. I just want a sweater.
- Earl: I just want dinner but it doesn't look good for either of us.
- Baby: [upon hearing the start to Earl's story, rather than being scared, he laughs] Then what?
- Earl Sinclair: Well, then one day, not very long ago, daddy dinosaurs and mommy dinosaurs started getting married and living in houses and raising children.
- Baby: And lived happily ever after.
- Earl Sinclair: Well, that was the idea.
- Baby: What happened?
- Earl Sinclair: Well, some dinosaurs wondered if they were doing the right thing.
- Baby: [interrupting] I want to be in the story!
- Earl Sinclair: [reassuring] You are.
- Baby: Oh.
- Earl Sinclair: But it starts just before you were born. Your mother was cooking dinner as usual, and dinner was trying to escape, as usual.