- Mike Bassett: We've conceded in under five seconds!
- Richard Johnson: Already breaking records eh Mike.
- Mike Bassett: [At Chairman Sir Denzil Quartermaine who is paralysed having had a heart attack] Keep smiling eh Sir Denzil. Never say die. Sir Denzil?
- [Sir Denzil's body flops forward]
- Mike Bassett: Sir Denzil? Bloody hell he's done a Jock Stein on me!