Futurama (TV Series)

Godfellas (2002)

Billy West: Philip J. Fry, Prof. Hubert J. Farnsworth, Dr. Zoidberg, God Entity, Additional Voices

Quotes 

• God Entity : When you do things right, people won't be sure you've done anything at all.

• God Entity : Bender, being God isn't easy. If you do too much, people get dependent on you. And if you do nothing, they lose hope. You have to use a light touch, like a safecracker or a pickpocket.

  Bender : Or a guy who burns down a bar for the insurance money.

  God Entity : Yes, if you make it look like an electrical thing. When you do things right, people won't be sure you've done anything at all.

• Bender : I was God once.

  God Entity : I saw. You were doing very well, until everyone died.

• Bender : So do you know I'm going to do something before I do it?

  God Entity : Yes.

  Bender : What if I do something else?

  God Entity : Then I don't know that.

• Philip J. Fry : Bender, you're alive!

  Leela : This is by a wide margin the least likely thing that has ever happened.

  Bender : Guys, you'll never believe what happened! First I was God, then I met God!

  Philip J. Fry : We climbed a mountain and locked up some monks.

  Leela : Oh, no, the monks! We forgot to let them out of the laundry room.

  Philip J. Fry : Do we have to? They're monks, after all. I'm sure their God will let them out, or at least give them more shoes to eat.

  Bender : Fat chance! You can't count on God for jack! He pretty much told me so Himself. Now, come on. If we don't free those monks, no one will.

• [Prof. Farnsworth is searching for Bender with his Smelloscope] 

  Leela : Anything yet, professor?

  Professor Hubert Farnsworth : I'm afraid the Smelloscope can't locate Bender. His fragrance is too mild. It's being overwhelmed by local sources.

  [Everyone looks at Zoidberg] 

  Dr. Zoidberg : Hooray! People are paying attention to me.

• Leela : Space pirates!

  Philip J. Fry : Space pirates?

  Leela : You know, pirates, but in space!

• Bender : That galaxy is signaling in binary. I should signal back, but I only know enough binary to ask where the bathroom is. You speak English?

  God Entity : I do now.

• Philip J. Fry : You can't lose hope when it's hopeless. You gotta hope more, then put your fingers in your ears and go, "Blah! Blah! Blah! Blah!... "

• Philip J. Fry : So that's my story, Father Changstein el Gamahl. Is there anything religion can do?

  Father Changstein el Gamahl : Well, we could join together in prayer.

  Philip J. Fry : Uh-huh, but is there anything useful we can do?

  Father Changstein el Gamahl : No.

• Philip J. Fry : Looking for God. That's important, yeah. But you know what might be a treat for everyone? If you let me use the telescope to look for my friend Bender.

  Monk #1 : I don't know what to say, other than... absolutely not! Sure, your loss is a tragedy, but our work...

  Philip J. Fry : Come on, you guys have forever to find God. All I'm asking is one measly lifetime to find my friend.

  Monk #2 : Master, he speaks out of love for his friend. Perhaps that love in his heart is God.

  Monk #1 : Oh, how convenient! A way of looking for God that doesn't require looking through a telescope. Get back to work!