The Simpsons (TV Series)

There's No Disgrace Like Home (1990)

Yeardley Smith: Lisa Simpson

Photos 

Quotes 

• Homer : Okay, now look. My boss is going to be at this picnic, so I want you to show your father some love and/or respect.

  Lisa : Tough choice.

  Bart : I'm picking respect.

• Lisa : OW!

  [get shocked] 

  Marge : Bart! How could you shock your little sister?

  Bart : My finger slipped. OW!

  [gets shocked by Lisa] 

  Lisa : So did mine!

• Homer : To save this family, we're gonna have to make the supreme sacrifice.

  Lisa : No, Dad, *please* don't pawn the TV.

  Bart : Aw, come on, Dad, anything but that.

  Marge : Homer, couldn't we pawn my engagement ring instead?

  Homer : Now, I appreciate that, Honey, but we need $150 here.

• Homer : We've got to do better as a family. So, tonight, we're not going to shovel food in our mouths while we stare at the TV. We're going to eat at the dining room table like a normal family.

  Lisa : [they all sit down at the table]  Happy Dad?

  Homer : Yes.

  Lisa : Good. Commence shoveling.

  [they start eating like pigs] 

  Homer : No, we're going to say grace first.

  Bart : OK. Rub-a-dub-dub, thanks for the grub.

  [they all proceed to eat like pigs again] 

  Homer : No. Ignore the boy, Lord. Now can the chatter and bow your heads.

  Homer : [he clears his throat to pray]  Dear Lord, thank you for this microwave bounty, even though we don't deserve it. I mean, our kids are uncontrollable hellions - pardon my French - but they act like savages. Did you see them at the picnic? Oh, of course you did. You're everywhere. You're omnivorous.

• Bart : Yeah?

  [shoving Lisa] 

  Lisa : Yeah?

  [shoving Bart] 

  Bart : Yeah?

  [shoving Lisa] 

  Lisa : Yeah?

  [shoving Bart] 

  Bart : Oh, yeah?

  [shoving Lisa] 

  Lisa : Yeah!

  [shoving Bart] 

  Homer : Hey! What's the problem here?

  [picking them both up] 

  Lisa : We were fighting over which one of us loves you more.

  Homer : You were? Ahhh. Well, go ahead.

  [puts them down] 

  Bart : You love him more!

  [shoving Lisa] 

  Lisa : No, you do!

  [shoving Bart] 

  Bart : No I don't!

  [shoving Lisa] 

  Lisa : Yes you do!

  [shoving Bart] 

• Homer : Look at that, kids - no fighting, no yelling.

  Bart : No belching.

  Lisa : The dad has his shirt on.

  Marge : Look, napkins!

  Bart : These people are obviously freaks.

• Homer : [Homer hands the cashier $250]  Here it is, $250... I'm holding the money right here.

  [Homer looks sad] 

  Lisa : If you wanna impress her, show her the big empty space where the TV used to be.

  Homer : Lisa!

• Lisa : [When the family learns of Homer's plan to send them to therapy]  You're sending us to a doctor that advertises on pro wrestling?

  Homer : Boxing Lisa, boxing... There's a world of difference.

• Dr. Marvin Monroe : [Dr. Marvin Monroe comes out to greet the family]  Hi, I'm Dr. Marvin Monroe... Perhaps you've heard of me on television.

  Lisa : We would if we had one.

• Lisa : [Homer announces that he has made an appointment with Dr. Marvin Monroe for the family]  You're takeing us to a doctor that advertises on pro wrestling?

  Homer : Boxing, Lisa, boxing... There's a world of difference.