The Simpsons (TV Series)

There's No Disgrace Like Home (1990)

Nancy Cartwright: Bart Simpson, Tom Gammil, Mother #2, Receptionist

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Greeting the Simpsons at the company picnic, Burns reads from a card] 

  Mr. Burns : And this must be, uh... Brat.

  Bart : Bart.

  Homer : Don't correct the man, Brat.

• Homer : Okay, now look. My boss is going to be at this picnic, so I want you to show your father some love and/or respect.

  Lisa : Tough choice.

  Bart : I'm picking respect.

• Bart : Hey, check out this house! It's a dump!

  Homer : [chuckles]  Yeah, and can you believe I stepped on the owner's garden bushes!

  Marge : Homer, this is our house!

  Homer : D'oh!

• Bart : Make yourselves at home. Hear that Dad - you can lie around in your underwear and scratch yourself.

• Lisa : OW!

  [get shocked] 

  Marge : Bart! How could you shock your little sister?

  Bart : My finger slipped. OW!

  [gets shocked by Lisa] 

  Lisa : So did mine!

• Homer : To save this family, we're gonna have to make the supreme sacrifice.

  Lisa : No, Dad, *please* don't pawn the TV.

  Bart : Aw, come on, Dad, anything but that.

  Marge : Homer, couldn't we pawn my engagement ring instead?

  Homer : Now, I appreciate that, Honey, but we need $150 here.

• Homer : We've got to do better as a family. So, tonight, we're not going to shovel food in our mouths while we stare at the TV. We're going to eat at the dining room table like a normal family.

  Lisa : [they all sit down at the table]  Happy Dad?

  Homer : Yes.

  Lisa : Good. Commence shoveling.

  [they start eating like pigs] 

  Homer : No, we're going to say grace first.

  Bart : OK. Rub-a-dub-dub, thanks for the grub.

  [they all proceed to eat like pigs again] 

  Homer : No. Ignore the boy, Lord. Now can the chatter and bow your heads.

  Homer : [he clears his throat to pray]  Dear Lord, thank you for this microwave bounty, even though we don't deserve it. I mean, our kids are uncontrollable hellions - pardon my French - but they act like savages. Did you see them at the picnic? Oh, of course you did. You're everywhere. You're omnivorous.

• Bart : Yeah?

  [shoving Lisa] 

  Lisa : Yeah?

  [shoving Bart] 

  Bart : Yeah?

  [shoving Lisa] 

  Lisa : Yeah?

  [shoving Bart] 

  Bart : Oh, yeah?

  [shoving Lisa] 

  Lisa : Yeah!

  [shoving Bart] 

  Homer : Hey! What's the problem here?

  [picking them both up] 

  Lisa : We were fighting over which one of us loves you more.

  Homer : You were? Ahhh. Well, go ahead.

  [puts them down] 

  Bart : You love him more!

  [shoving Lisa] 

  Lisa : No, you do!

  [shoving Bart] 

  Bart : No I don't!

  [shoving Lisa] 

  Lisa : Yes you do!

  [shoving Bart] 

• Homer : Look at that, kids - no fighting, no yelling.

  Bart : No belching.

  Lisa : The dad has his shirt on.

  Marge : Look, napkins!

  Bart : These people are obviously freaks.

• Homer : D'oh!

  Bart : Don't have a cow, dad.

• Dr. Marvin Monroe : You are wired into the rest of your family. You have the ability to shock them, and they have the ability to shock...

  [buzz] 

  Homer : AH!

  Bart : Just testing.

  Homer : Why you!

• Dr. Marvin Monroe : Stop! Stop, you're damaging the equipment!

  [pulls the plug out of the wall] 

  Bart : Hey, nice hair, mom.

  Marge : Gee, I thought we were making real progress.

  Dr. Marvin Monroe : No! I'm sorry, you're not! Please, you just got to go!

  Homer : Wait a minute, Doc, you're TV commercial said family bliss, or double our money back!

  Dr. Marvin Monroe : Hoho, but that was just... All right.

  Dr. Marvin Monroe : [to his receptionist] 

  Dr. Marvin Monroe : Get the money...

  Dr. Marvin Monroe : [Paying money out to Homer] 

  Dr. Marvin Monroe : 20,40,60 80, 100... 20,40,60,80,200... 20,40,60,80,300... 20,40,60,80,400... 20,40,60,80,500! Here - just go! And never tell anyone you were here!