- Bart: It's just a statue.
- Marge Simpson: It's the statue of the trailblazing founder of our town!
- Lisa Simpson: It's a symbol of what we can all do if we put our minds to it!
- Homer Simpson: Just a statue? Is the Statue of Liberty just a statue? Is the Leaning Tower of Pizza just a statue?
- Bart: Uh, ma'am, what if you're a really good person but you're in a really, really, really bad fight and your leg gets gangrene and has to be amputated. Will it be waiting for you in heaven?
- Sunday School Teacher: For the last time, Bart, yes!
- Mr. Burns: [overjoyed as Bart replaces the statue's head] I love you, Smithers.
- Waylon Smithers: The feeling is more than mutual, sir.
- Homer: Just a statue? Is the Statue of Liberty just a statue? Is the Leaning Tower of Pizza just a statue?
- Homer Simpson: [on heaven] I can understand why they wouldn't let in those wild jungle apes, but what about those really smart ones who live among us who rollerskate and smoke cigars?
- Bart: I was wondering, how important is it to be popular?
- Homer Simpson: I'm glad you asked, son. Being popular is the most important thing in the world.
- Bart: So like, sometimes you can do stuff that you think is pretty bad so other kids will like you better?
- Homer Simpson: You're not talking about killing anyone, are you?
- [while listening to a football game on a Walkman in church]
- Homer: Please, please, please, please...
- Sportscaster: Yes, it's good.
- Homer: IT'S GOOD. IT'S GOOD. IT'S GOOD. It's... good to see you all today.
- Marge Simpson: Bart, assume the position!
- [Bart stands against a wall while Marge frisks him to see if he's concealing anything while at Sunday school, finding a slingshot and a comic book]
- Kearney: [He, Dolph, and Jimbo distract Bart enough he doesn't pay attention and falls off his skateboard, they then laugh] Nice dismount there!
- Bart: [Brushing himself off] Didn't hurt.
- Kearney: Oh yeah? Let's see you do it again.
- Bart: Nah. Might land on my face and end up looking like you.
- Kearney: [Dolph and Jimbo laugh, but he of course takes offense and starts to approach Bart] You little punk!
- Jimbo: [Stops him] Hey, hey. Leave the kid alone. I like him.
- Bart: [Stunned] You do?
- Jimbo: scram simpson man i thought you were cool.