- Capitán Monastario: A marriage between the viceroy's daughter and I would be mutually advantageous. Don't you think?
- Sgt. Demetrio Lopez Garcia: It certainly would be a quick way of becoming a colonel.
- Capitán Monastario: Look at me, Sergeant. You find me attractive?
- Sgt. Demetrio Lopez Garcia: No.
- Capitán Monastario: No, you idiot! I mean if you were a woman.
- Sgt. Demetrio Lopez Garcia: If I was a woman and fat like this, I wouldn't be particular.