Yes Minister (TV Series)
The Official Visit (1980)
Paul Eddington: James Hacker
Photos
Quotes
-
James Hacker : When am I going to do all this correspondence?
Bernard Woolley : You do realize you don't actually have to, Minister.
James Hacker : Don't I?
Bernard Woolley : Not if you don't want to. We can draft an official reply.
James Hacker : What's an official reply?
Bernard Woolley : It just says "The Minister has asked me to thank you for your letter"; then we say something like "The matter is under consideration", or even, if we feel so inclined, "under active consideration."
James Hacker : What's the difference?
Bernard Woolley : Well, 'under consideration' means we've lost the file; 'under active consideration' means we're trying to find it.
-
[Discussing response to an inflammatory speech by a foreign diplomat]
James Hacker : Humphrey, do you think it's a good idea to issue a statement?
Sir Humphrey Appleby : Well, Minister, in practical terms we have the usual six options. One, do nothing. Two, issue a statement deploring the speech. Three, lodge an official protest. Four, cut off aid. Five, break off diplomatic relations; and six, declare war.
James Hacker : Which should we do?
Sir Humphrey Appleby : Well, if we do nothing we implicitly agree with the speech. Two: if we issue a statement we'll just look foolish. Three: if we lodge a protest it will be ignored. Four: we can't cut off aid because we don't give them any. Five: if we break off diplomatic relations we can't negotiate the oil rig contracts. And six: if we declare war it might just look as though we were over-reacting.
Martin - Foreign Secretary : In the old days we'd have sent in a gunboat.
Sir Humphrey Appleby : Yes.
James Hacker : I suppose that is absolutely out of the question.
